DS just met his dad for the 1st time - what next??

[mayfly80]

So today my son met his Dad for the first time...he's four. He is so excited and happy..it's hard for me to trust that ex really wants to do this, as he's had no contact with us since I was pregnant. Says he wants to do the right thing and knows he needs to grow up, etc.

It went well but I'm just nervous he'll lose interest and break DS's heart.

How do I deal with this? Have any of you had this work out, or not?

I'm not sure how often I should let them get together, or what to expect, really.
Help!

I would make arrangements with him but keep his visits as a surprise for your son at the moment if you are unsure if he will turn up.

As there has been so little contact previously i would start with little and often at first.
So let him come and visit for an hour or two a couple of times a week. After 6 wks of this, if he has stuck to it willingly and the realtionship is going well move onto 1 day out without you every fortnight as well as the normal visits.
After another 6 wks you could move onto an overnight stay once a month if possible. Then after 6 months you could consider every other weekend as overnight contact. An evening contact during the week every week and more contact offered as appropriate /possible during school holidays.
Birthdays and christmas etc would have to be looked at according to your work patterns and whether or not you are amicable enough to consider attending your sons birthday party together for example.

HTH

All I can say is good on you for letting him have contact after all this silence from him. Ｄｄ?ｓ　ｄａｄ　ｈａｓ　&#6 5351;ｏｎｅ　ｔｈｅ　ｏｔｈ&#65349 ;ｒ　ｗａｙ　ｓｏ　Ｉ　ｃ&#6 5345;ｎ　ｕｎｄｅｒｓｔａｎ&#65348 ;　ｗｈｙ　ｙｏｕ　ａｒｅ&#1 2288;ｇｕａｒｄｅｄ． A little and often is the right way I think too-he needs to build up trust with you and your ds, and the more trust he builds the more access he gets. Well done!

This is a difficult situation and good on you for putting aside your fears and allowing contact. The only way you can see if he is true to his word is to continue with contact. Hopefully it will turn out well for your DS. Idranks advice is spot on

Hope for the best and deal with the worse if it happens