Not Enough Contact

[MissingMyBoy]

My ex wife and I separated in October last year. Since then she has made getting any reasonable contact with my ds very difficult. I currently only get 2 hours twice a week. There is no domestic violence or welfare issues, so why won't she let me see him more. I looked after him equally from birth until 10 weeks old when she left. All I want to do is be a good dad but she won't let me. How much contact does everyone think a good dad should get to a child he loves?

MMB, if you read the MSBP threads, you'll find that's not true. When it comes to child cot deaths, the majority of parents who have been found guilty (wrongly) of murdering their children on the basis of very little evidence, are women, not men.

Actually "clipping" a 15 year old round the ear is violent and the bloke should be on a register. Sorry, but to be dealing with a drunken 15 year old in that manner indicates that the bloke is out of control. Sounds like he was drunk too.

Childcare is no more gender neutral than any other human activity. Most people accept that men and women behave differently in lots of situations - for example in business, it's generally recognised that men are more likely to take risks, to gamble, to be dynamic, to take snap decisions, to take charge of situations, while women are more cautious, consensual and conscious of detail. (And obviously before everyone jumps on me there are always exceptions to the rules and this has been generally observed and doesn't mean it always has to be that way.) But why should looking after be children be different from every other human activity? If men and women behave differently in business, in social situations, in financial matters, why should they suddenly become gender-neutral when it comes to childcare? I don't think that is very likely.

MissingMyBoy Not sure where you got your information from but after over a decade of conducting quantitative and qualitative research into violence in families, there is NO truly academically conducted research that shows that women physically abuse children more than men.

Your situation sounds very difficult and I do have sympathy. You clearly love your son very much and from what you've said you deserve to see him more often, but imho you won't be doing yourself many favours by bandying around random, unsubstantiated remarks about 'research'. And as for innocent until proven guilty - perhaps you should tell that to Donna Anthony, Sally Clark, Angela Cannings, Trupti Patel and many others.

I'm not trying to have a go - I do have sympathy. Just found your last post somewhat strange.

Message withdrawn

Hello MissingMyBoy. i have been through a similar experience and wanted to say that I wish you luck. Hopefully you'll work something out that is best for your child and NOT what you or your ex want. The thing to remember is that you and your ex need to rise above your differences and not get caught in squabbles. Your child is what's important.

Hello MissingMyBoy. i have been through a similar experience and wanted to say that I wish you luck. Hopefully you'll work something out that is best for your child and NOT what you or your ex want. The thing to remember is that you and your ex need to rise above your differences and not get caught in squabbles. Your child is what's important.