Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Help New BF - is this normal

5 replies

smileychubs · 01/12/2008 15:29

Have met someone new and we have been seeing each other now for 3 weeks.He is lovely guy. But I am still not sure just taking each date as it comes as I have been really hurt in the past. But he keeps texting me telling me he misses me and would like to see me every night and he tells me the same thing when I see him and also that I have got under his skin. He has introduced me to all his friends and told them all about me.And he has said that he has met his soul mate in me. But I keep thinking this isnt normal behaviour to what I am used to, I know everyone is different. Is this sort of thing normal coming from a new boyfriend?

OP posts:
Flibbertyjibbet · 01/12/2008 15:47

I had some terrible relationships in the past and would try and take each one as it came. I know now that I was actually holding back and it put a damper on some of the relationships I had.
Some people jump in with both feet and act like its their very serious very steady relationship from day one.
I used to think if I did that I would be seen as pushy, so I held back and sometimes the man thought this meant I wasn't that into him.
But on the other hand times when the man seemed a lot keener than me - I would be running for the hills saying 'he's toooo keeeeeeen'.

I think its lovely that this new man thinks you are so wonderful but sometimes the ones that are the most gushing at the start when its not reciprocated, can turn into the worst boyfriends when it all wears off.

3 weeks is no time at all and personally I'd have been cautious with someone so keen so quick.

How can you see him everynight if you have other friends, work, home, hobbies etc? That does sound a bit full on too fast for me.

However after years and years of me being cynical mrs take-it-slowly,
When I met dp we did both know within a few weeks that we would be together forever (barf I hear you all say ) but due to his work and my studies we only saw each other at weekends, and we were fine.

smileychubs · 01/12/2008 15:57

I am very independent what wil 2 DS and working full time and my friends that I love going out with, I am cautious as my last bf ended up a nightmare didnt like me going out with out him and getting moody when I didnt text etc. So I sometimes think I am a bit cynical.And I keep thinking what happens if he turns into a nightmare, he wants to come and meet my 2 ds and on about going out for family days as he has 2 dcs . I am now thinking maybe its easier being on my own as I am very scared of making a mistake.

OP posts:
Tinkerbel6 · 02/12/2008 10:20

He does seem a bit full on smileychubs, sounds very much like he wants to jump straight into a relationship, you are right to be warey, just have a chat with him and say that you would like to take things slow and see how things develop, he might be a genuine nice guy but then he might be a weirdo, time will tell.

Flibbertyjibbet · 02/12/2008 11:33

If he was the one for you, then you would know it and you would not even have to ask about whether his behaviour was normal.
The best relationship advice I ever had was that you know when you've met the right person because you just 'click' with no effort or mental acrobatics!

3 weeks in seems very early to be introducing him to your dcs and wanting family days out.

Does he have his dcs at the weekend and feel at a loose end during the week?

You have reminded me of someone I knew just about the time of my 21st. He was in love with my friend after 2 dates. Flowers, booking holidays, the lot. She found it a bit much but mentioned to him that I quite liked him. So we had a chat on the phone and he seemed ok. he turned up at my 21st party 2 days later with a huge bunch of flowers and massive card 'to my girlfriend on her birthday' - you can imagine my parents and all my friends as I protested that I hardly knew him!

So I also gave him the brush off. less than a month later he announced he was ENGAGED to someone my friend and I both knew!

So, some people just want full on romantic relationship stuff from the first look.

You don't sound like you do. So keep him at arms length, don't introduce him to your children till you are sure of where the relationship is going.

If he starts saying 'why can't I meet your children/friends/family' etc and putting pressure on you then thats the start of the nightmare boyfriend and you should run like the wind.

smileychubs · 02/12/2008 13:37

Flibberty that made me smile about your 21st.

No he only has his DC every 2nd weekend for 1 night so not that often.

He has met a couple of my friends as I am lucky that I can go out when I want.

I thought I was ready to go out with someone after being single for 9 months but with him coming on what I feel is quite strong I am now wondering if I am ready.

or maybe i am just not used to nice people as been used to t**ts

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page