Adice on birth certs please?

[tessofthedurbervilles]

What is the difference if I don't name ex-p on my baby's birth cert? He has been awful and I think its not a bad thing if he disappears and lets me get on with things....he won't be consistent and will breeze in and out as he feels....in the long term I think he will do more harm than good. Can I do all of this? I just want my baby to not grow up completely confused and thinking its dad is unreliable....

If you are not married, then you can register your child yourself and not name ex-p. He will not have parental rights in that case.
If you register him and he goes with you, he can be named on the certificate, and have joint parental rights, which it sounds like you do not want.

As the previous poster said, he would have to go with you if you wanted him on the birth certificate anyway (think they can also give written consent).. If he's being a pain maybe he wouldn't do that anyway. Some men are under the impression if they dont go on the certificate they wont have to pay

I do think if they cant show commitment to your baby now, they dont have a right to be on the certificate. Ok if they can show willing they can always get PR at a later stage. Ive seen to many posts from ladies that are having problems with very absent fathers that as you say breeze in and out at will, show no commitment to their child but have to be consulted about important decisions ie schools

If hes being awkward I would leave him off, much easier for you in the future

I would think carefully about it from your child's point of view.

Dh wasn't put on dsd's birth certificate. Her mum did her best to try to stop dh having any contact with dsd when they split up, but he wasn't having any of that and got a court order and parental responsibility. He's remained fully involved in her life.

We are now dealing with the fall-out of him not being on dsd's birth certificate. It really upsets her. We have said that we could get her a new one done, but she said it wouldn't change anything, the fact remains that he wasn't on there in the first place. It matters to her.

You don't know what will happen in the future, he may well continue to want to be involved with your child. Being on the birth certificate isn't going to change anything. The fact that he isn't on there has made no difference at all when it came to dh fighting for contact or being awarded PR.

So my advice would be to think ahead to when your child starts to ask why their father isn't named on there, and how they might feel about it.

its up to you of course. but in years to come your child may wantto find their dad and heavan forbid you aren't around....

I regret everyday that I put my exp name on ds birth certificate. he is not around and I havent heard from him in years, but it is infinitely more diffiult for dh to adopt ds because his name is on there.

I can see the point of view that the dc may be upset by not having both parents on their certificate, but if your x is not going to stick around and be supportive, I would think twice about having him on there.
I thought I would do the nice thing and have my x on the certificate stupidly thinking it would make him feel more included and maybe more supportive. Dumb dumb dumb. Now I have to get written concent everytime I do something like get my ds a passport, renewing it is going to be the same problem etc. Of course tracking him down to ask him to give this consent is a task and a half, then getting the consent off him is never free. Then if he doesnt feel like giving it you have to write down all the lengths you have gone though to get the concent, and why you dont have it, and try to explain why you should be exempt from getting the concent...
Maybe to give yourself a little space and freedom dont get it on there, if by the time your dc is 3-4 and hes actually stuck around and helped out, get it changed. dc will be too young to realise the difference.