So how do I move on...

[ChasingSquirrels]

...when in all honesty I am in denial about the whole thing (ex moved out in Mar/Apr, was totally out of the blue to me, I still love him and even now would probably still try and make it work if he wanted to). I know he isn't coming back, but basically I don't think about it, because doing so make me too upset.
And wtf do I actually DO in order to move on, when I am not particularly social and don't have social hobbies (I like reading, and MN - lol, and being with close friends). I don't have lots of friends, I have a (small) handful of really close friends who would do anything for me, but who have their own lives and families.

Its hard. I left my exp whilst pg in feb. He moved straight in with someone else.... but apparently nothing was going on between them when we were together
Im still in love with him but I know there is no future for us.... I have tried everything to het him out of my system but nothing seems to work so Im just hoping time will sort it all out. I think its so much harder getting over someone you have children with as you still have to have contact with them because of the kids and so theyre still a part of your life. Sorry not really advice but didnt want ignore your post. Your not alone

hey there chasingsquirrels, i came across your post- am stalking you from another site lol. you know who i am i think (southernsomething)... just wanted to send you a big hug really. i wish i had an answer for you... sadly you have to find the strength to move on within you. i am sure you will make it, but it may take a while.

anyway- that's it really. good luck, and stay strong!

Paul McKenna (sp?) has written a book called How to get over Heartbreak or something similar. I was given it, and whilst the person who gave it to me was a bit embarassed, as a book offering a quick fix solution is a little far fetched, it did actually help me. You say you like reading, and I'd be more than happy to post it to you if you'd like it.

Time is needed for you to get to a place where you can move on. Depending on the length of the relationship and how you felt in it, seems to determine to some extent how long it takes. You can make practical attempts to move on, like going out on the town and meeting people but if that isn't really you, or you aren't ready, then its only going to be like a sticking plaster. When you are ready, you need to choose something that suits you.

Does your ex still treat you very well? It sounds like he might and it was just the wrong relationship for him. Whilst I would never advocate it being easier to deal with a badly behaved ex, mine has treated me so appallingly that it really helped to think of all the nasty things he has done, in one go, and it does help you to switch off feelings. That was one of the techniques used in the book.

Unfortuately, it hasn't helped me meet anyone new but I am, at least, in a very good place, if someone came along.

Good luck, and take support where you can find it.

wow - thanks for the replies.
Hi beforesunrise, keep seeing you on msn, but not sure if it is you - as you are around alot more than you have been?
Charlotte - have seen you posts around, you too are coping remarkable well.
LightTouch - wow, thanks for the book offer. No he hasn't treated me badly (well apart from leaving), we had been together for nearly 17 years ie all our adult lives. I know time will heal, it already is, although as I said in the OP I still love him - he was part of my family and that doesn't disappear overnight. I can relate to the nasty things would help my feelings switch off bit, but it won't be like that. I guess I can look at all the positives re the children and that we can (most of the time) work together in respect of them. I am starting to feel that it is time to find something for me, outside of what I already have, or maybe not quite time - but getting there. Just not sure what!

Thank you all for posting, sometimes it just helps knowing that people are out there.

hey there- it is me. i have only just managed to restart my msngr after months it wasn't working. let's chat sometimes. take care!