Can someone give me some advice regarding my exp.

[spookycharlotte121]

We have 2 young chidlren together and left him in Feb when I was still pg with dd. Fast forward to now and he is supposed to have the kids overnight one night a week, usually a sat. Recently he has really been messing me about with it and chaning arrangements right at the last moment or just nnot having them at all.
He was supposed to have them last ngiht but couldnt because his gf's dd is poorly. So i suggested that he came over here today and spent some time with them if they couldnt go to his. That was all fine. I txt him to say that if he were coming to mine to come alone as i havnt had much sleep and didnt want my flat full of pepople. He didnt respond so rather than he just turn up with her I rang him.... he said i will call you back in 5 mins.... only he didnt. His gf txt me instead and Im now sorting out the kids via her for todays contact. Im a bit annoyed about this. They are his kids. Why cant he just call/txt me rather than getting his gf to do it. He will only ever pick the kids up if she is with him.... or could be the other way round that he is only allowed to pick them up when she is with him. I just dont know what to do. Im not comfortable with the whole situation. One of them obviously has a problem with me.... either my ex doesnt want to be on his own with me for some unknown reason or his gf doesnt want him to be on his own with me. I want to be able to sit down with him and talk about the kids but this is never possible as he is always with his girlfriend and I dont want to discuss money etc with her present. Im not being funny about it, but there are some important things that need to be discussed about the kids which have been put on hold for months because I cant ever talk to him alone. I have been very accomodating with him seeing the kids and have gone out of my way to make it as easy as possible. I think that my ex and his are being particularly difficult with the way they are behaving. How can I sort the situation so that I am back in control and not being messed about. Im finding it very stressful atm. Thanks.

It sounds to me as if his girlfriend is controlling him,it is quite likely she finds u a threat.If it gets worse u may have 2 go through the court 2 clarify specific times(hopefully it won't come 2 that)I also have 2 young kids& 8wks PG.My soon 2b exDH messed me around 2 start with even said once he never wanted 2c the kids,but i didn't react just said thats your choice.But now he sees them every sunday without fail.It annoys me that he won't take them anywhere,Says he can't cope with 2!Pathetic.Hoping he will when they get older.

Maybe he's still in love with you and she knows it?

Hmmmmm who knows.... In one of mine and his gf's very inapropriate bitches about my ex she told me that he had said he had never loved me and was only with me because of the kids.... which is bull because I left him and he literally begged me to get bk with him...... but it did really hurt when she said it. He wasnt a nice guy but I honestly did think that we would be together forever but in the end I couldnt take anymore of the gambling and lies.

I think I need to stand up and say something but I dont know what to say without causing a huge argument. Personally I would like to sit down with him and just have a propper conversation about the kids. Nothing more, nothing less. I still have feelings for him but I would never act upon them, especially as he has a gf..... Im not that kind of person.
Mainly I could just do with a little more support from my ex and I dont think that I can do that when his gf is so involved, I like her and we get on but i think she just needs to take a step back and allow me and my ex to be parents.

I don't think you can insist on sitting down with him alone if he insists on having his gf with him.

You can't change him, or her, you can only change your response to them. Don't let her wind you up.

Text him to say tht you would like a meeting with him re various issues, preferably just the two of you. You could suggest somewhere neutral like a cafe, so that it remains businesslike and may alleviate her insecurity.

But if he refuses, there's nothing you can do about it.

Re the messing you about with contact, how you proceed depends on how much it inconveniences you.