Found out he's married so now I'm a single mum....

10 replies

nissa · 20/11/2008 23:56

Basically on my birthday a few weeks ago I got a call from a women claiming to be my oh's wife!

We have been together 9 months. he lives 200 miles away but works in my town and was here 4 sometimes 5 nights a week. I thought he was going back and empty flat but turns out he is married with a 3 year old.

I'm now 18 weeks pregnant and already have a 7 year old.

Really stuck and sick at the thought of being a single parent to a newborn.

I can't believe I was falling for his rubbish.

Wife has said she will try to save the marriage if he promises to have nothing to do with me or the baby so not expecting any help from him.

OP posts:

thumbwitch · 20/11/2008 23:58

how horrific for you nissa -

Mum2OliverJames · 21/11/2008 00:01

I am sorry to hear about this.
If he is even part man he will still help out.
He is still obliged by law to support you and DC financially

ClaireDeLoon · 21/11/2008 00:03

I'm very sorry what a terrible thing to be going through. Do you have anyone else to help you and support you?

tessofthedurbervilles · 21/11/2008 08:50

Bless you massive hug. Wife is in shock and trying to make the situation go away but she will realise, as a mother, that you cannot just ignore a child and you ex oh won't be able to. I am 12 weeks and a single mum so you can always rant on my cyber shoulder xxxx

Original poster

nissa · 21/11/2008 11:47

Thanks guys.

I do understand wifes point. she's just clinging onto what she had so I don't blame her. I have explained I didn't know but I guess it's easier to see me as the whore in all this and not hate her husband.

I have said that I will not stand in his way if he wants to see the baby. He helpfully reminded me that if I go overdue he'll be ready to have sex to start labour off...... I guess he's not the decent guy I thought he was! Never mind. It's his loss.

OP posts:

Tinkerbel6 · 21/11/2008 13:39

You will cope nissa, what a dirty dog he is, make sure you come to an amicable agreement over maintenace, its the least he can do.

tessofthedurbervilles · 21/11/2008 13:45

Sounds like my ex - he has agreed to give me pregnancy sex if I want it but not interested in the baby.....sorry I tell a lie he said he can rub bio oil in to my swelling bump and chests.....a true gent!

ELOB · 02/01/2009 17:03

dont under estimate the wife. she should, if at all decent be able to see him for what he is. how did she find out about you after all? she must have sensed things weren't right. believe me ive been there. she is also a mum and again, if decent would not wish a child to be brought up unsupported or unknown by his/her father however much it hurts. the baby is innocent and isnt even born yet! he sounds disgusting but goes to show how sincere and genuine a person can seem if thats what they want to do. his remark about starting off labour just shows his disrespect for the baby and given that he already has a young child of his own i find that extremely distatsetful. he obviously doesn't have respect for his own child either. he's an arse.

AlistairSim · 02/01/2009 17:08

You poor thing, how awful for you!

Has he given you any explanation for his behaviour?

jazzpants · 08/01/2009 20:58

you poor thing! and his poor wife! what a rat!!!!, nissa at least you have found out early on, I hope you are able to rebuild your life for both you and your dc,as has been previously posted his wife is in shock and as a mother will probably change her opinion as time goes on,
wishing you all the luck in the world x

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