can't decide whats best

[addictedtopoas]

hi, i'm hoping for some advice, i'm ttc no1 with dh, but he's just been offered a job which would take him abroad for a whole year from next spring/ summer, i wouldn't be able to go too and would only be able to visit occasionally... i really don't want to stop ttc till he gets back, as that would mean delaying by two years...

but if i'm pregnant before he leaves he could miss a lot of the child's first year... i'm i crazy for still wanting to try, knowing i would have to go through childbirth and those first months without him (and, whilst pregantn/ child is young, wouldn't be able to fly out to see him - he may not be able to fly back). opinions / advice please!

Hi, does your DH have to take this job? Are there not others? What does he think about all this?

he doesn't absolutely have to, but would be 2x his current salary (which is v low at present), and be a massive boost to his career, and i know he really wants to take it... but i'm worried it may take a while to get pregnant really really don't want to wait two more years... his jobs always going to take him away at times, i've accepted that a long time ago, but just so worried that it would be really silly to carry on ttc, and almost intentionally become a 'lone parent' for a while right when its all new to me...

Excuse me, but... I know jobs are important and can be a boost to his career but if he is not coming back until 2 years from now, can only visit ocassionally and you can't go with him... Are you positive the marriage will survive even without adding a baby/toddler to the equation?

MMSaI makes a very good point - I think you need to decide what's most important in all of this. And what's fair to you and to any theoretical child. What he is doing doesn't sound like partnership or fatherhood.