How many of us wake up intending to do 'things' then achieve feck all?

[stroppygoddess]

Ok, namechanger here. I wake up on saturdays/sundays with Big Plans (well not so big, but at least they involve leaving the bloody house) and then the day is on top of me and it's dinner time and then ds has to have his nap and then it's 3pm and I can't be bothered to walk into town because it will probably rain then I put ogg foing to the supermarlet until tomorrow then it's ds's tea time and that takes an hour then we play and I make a couple of phone calls and I am too embarrassed to ring back people I said I would meet earlier in the day then it's ds's bed time and that takes ages and then the day is over.

And yes again I have achieved nothing.

Does this sound at all familiar? I am a relatively nrew lone parent and in the beginning after h left I was still quite organised and got out. But now..hell, the hours race ahead of me and I achieve bugger all. It is ds's bed time and before I know it I crack open the wine, say alhazzabajhan and the saturday-night-X-Factor-Fairy appears and I feel shit for not teaching ds how to hang-glide earlier.

useless mother

Well if you're a useless mother, most of us are too! Any mum (let alone a single parent), who says they don't have days like this is lying!

Make sure you do have days where you achieve something though, as they make you feel really good about yourself and spur you on to do more. Strangely, there's nothing like doing nothing to make you feel like doing nothing, IYSWIM.

Don't beat yourself up about it. This is normal!

You are a crap mother.

Go and iron your child's socks to atone for your crapness.

And, FGS - have a bath

There is always tommorow..though in my life tommorow will pretty much be the same as today!
Sometimes doing nothing is good. Are you rushing round all week? The weekend is for chilling.

I'm not a single parent - though a lot of the itme I'm the only one around - but boy, do I empathise with you. My DD has just turned three and everyday seems to get esier in terms of looking after her. She is son indepenandant and capable of doing her own thing. But every day I somehow beat myself that I haven't done enough to stimulate her/play with her, etc. i am sur eyou are a great mum - just anxious ike all of us

Stroppy goddess, I can't tell you how happy your post makes me!
That Is My Life! I thought i was the only one! And it gets dark so early too. And I live in the middle of nowhere, and no money to buy snacks when out so i have to be ultra prepared if i leave the house. I do try most days - even 10 mins helps - but have failed so far today.
Someone suggested setting yourself a very low daily target and then you feel good cos you have achieved it. Eg playing football in the garden for 10 minutes. Not fun when it's raining though and you have to change two pairs of clothes afterwards.
Someone else i know suggested that knowing what you do on each day helps - eg one day could be library day, one day park, one day baby group... one day bills... i am going to try and incorporate that into my life!
Er... next week sometime.

I forgot to buy bread yesterday
Children had to take lumps of cheese and bought bread rolls on way in to school, threw into lunchboxes -

who are you really? no need to name change!

who are you really? no need to name change!

ooops

Ha ha ha, i always keep bread flour and yeast in the cupboard for emergencies! I seem to carry lots of lumps of cheese round too, and cheerios, whereas all my friends always seem to have those little packeted organic baby crisps and freshly chopped crudites! DS is going to have the strongest bones in town..so i tell myself

Completely normal stroppygoddess! You are being incredibly hard on yourself.

Before dd went to school, I went through weeks and weeks of exactly the sort of thing you describe in your op; ie surviving and getting through (always feeling I was playing catch-up) rather than taking bull by the horns and steering ....and I have a dh to help me so no excuse really ...

then I would emerge for a few days and take charge of things and feel a bit better ...

then normal behaviour would resume. It was partially tiredness, it's partly the shock of not being in control of one's life anymore, and hell it must be hard to be on your own and adjust to being on your own.

Please don't call yourself a useless mother. It's a cliché but parenthood's a marathon not a sprint. You are there. You are doing it. I bet your ds doesn't think you are useless.

At the end of the day when you say "yet again I have achieved nothing" try saying, "I was there for my ds today. Another day has passed when I've kept him safe, fed him, played with him and he knows I love him"

Give yourself permission to take some time for yourself. Try and do something that you enjoy for an hour every day and to hell with washing socks - the rest will follow. x