Is 3 too young ?

[mankymummy]

To stay with his dad overnight for two nights in a row?

He currently sees DS every 3 weeks and has him overnight for one night. ExP now wants to have him overnight for two nights every 3 weeks... but Im not sure if its too much?

DS currently happily goes off for a night and is absolutely fine BTW.

Any thoughts / stories on similar situations gratefully received...

I think he will be OK, if you have no other concerns I would say try it for a weekend and see how it goes. Then take it from there.

thanks, that was a bit daft of me really wasnt it... of course i need to give it a go.

i guess i was really asking how usual it is for a 3 year old to spend two consecutive nights away... doh!

sounds fine to me, my DS is 2.8 months and has jsut come back form a holiday with his dad at his nans, second time he's been away, for 5 nights.

I jsut ring every day, but he usually stops here with his dad while I go away for 2 nights,

really spandex? and is he ok? whats he like when he comes home after 5 nights? do you think ringing is a good idea?

when hes away for 5 days I did the first time, second time I rang every other day.

this time he's settled back down quicker (now has a cold thou - but only took a few weeks) first time around was a bit of a nightmare, and took about 6 weeks to settle him properly. but then again my having him unsettled isn't really a good enough reason to stop him seeing his grandparents with his dad - he only goes once/twice a year.

re the 2 nights thing I leave friday avo and come back sunday morning, XH has my mobile number if so will ring if there's a prob, I usually leave them to it - but we're over a year of doing this - to begin with I used to stay, but i've learnt to let go a bit, and XH does as he wishes with DS - I think it's helped now i've realised DS likes seeing his dad and my personal feelings about XH (ie he's an abusive twat) is neither here nor there, HOWEVER if he was doing the same thing to DS we'd review it - XH knows if DS comes back consistantly upset then i'd think again but for now it works. (it's every other w.e btw & DS was unsettled at first - ie a nightmare, for one night only, but that's all stopped now thankfully - think it's as XH lets him stay up till he literallly drops and I don't!)

I can link to a thread I started if you'd like?

My 3 yr old dd has done 2 nights away on a few occasions, and like Spandex's ds, has had a 5 night holiday at my parents house.

I rang every day too (actually, twice a day if I'm honest )

dd is also three, she stays with her dad overnight twice a week. when i go and stay with my bro, she stays there for a week and loves it! (ps it gives me a break too).
i am sure he will be fine and you will too, once you realise that he is fine

my 3 yr old DS stays with his dad for stretches of several days and has done since a baby - we co-parented til he was a year anyway, so XP was pretty experienced - I had my first 2 weeks away from DS when he was under a year (actually, wouldn't recommend it, but he was fine - it was me that struggled!). I would say if your son is happy with his dad, and you are confident in his parenting abilities, then the only limits are how comfortable YOU (and your ex) are (iykwim) - unless your child is obviously miserable, but you'd know before it got to that stage.

DH had his DS 2 and 3 nights in a row every week from just before he was 2.

I think your child will be fine. Give it a go. My last partner had his 3 year old every other weekend for two overnights and 1 overnight the week in between.

I would ask why it's only every three weeks that your ex sees his child though, is there no scope for making it a little more frequent?