Just had a really scary thought in the shower-if I died unexpectedly (morbid I know)

[Pawslikepaddington]

on a Thursday no one would even investigate my whereabouts/dd's whereabouts until the following Tuesday . How can I get round this?

I haven't got an answer but just to let you know that I used to lie awake worrying about it when I was a single parent with a young child. I think it is a very normal thought.
I suppose the sensible thing is to ask a neighbour to investigate if there is no sign of you but I never actually did it, I didn't mention the fear to anyone because it sounded silly.

Think I might do that as one neighbour is a good friend, but we can go two weeks without meeting due to dc's being at diff schools and clubs etc. Am so glad other people worry about this too-can still remember the mum that died and they didn't find her son for two weeks

How old is your daughter and do you have a pet?

No pets (does that make it worse? I suppose a dog could maul her/eat her or something thinking about it if he was hungry enough). and dd is 4-she knows about 999, but is more likely to just cuddle me and cry need to get on with getting her ready for school but will be back soon xx

No pets (does that make it worse? I suppose a dog could maul her/eat her or something thinking about it if he was hungry enough). and dd is 4-she knows about 999, but is more likely to just cuddle me and cry need to get on with getting her ready for school but will be back soon xx

When my DS was 4 I relaxed a bit. I had my phone set up with quick dial buttons for grandparents. I got him to call them using the buttons so I knew he could do it, I didn't tell him to do it if anything had happened to me because I didn't want to put the thought in his head,but I was confident he had a first line of call.

That's the prob-we have no grandparents! I have friends, but there is no reason why she would call them as I don't as we meet up and then discuss next meet up then IYSWIM. I have asked the school though and they said that if she isn't in by 9.30am and I haven't called to say she is ill, they will then ring my friend and ask her to check everything is ok, phew . Thanks Abbey-I'm so glad someone else has been through this xx

I think that at 4 you could explain 999, not because something might happen to you, but just in general terms so that she knows there is help in an emergency. I expect you could find a book in the library about emergency services so that you could read it without personal connotations.

Thankfully they did a course on it at nursery which she really enjoyed, so now she shouts "emergency 999!" if I ever ask her what to do if there is a fire etc, so I think she knows what to do-does she know what a 9 looks like though, hmmm ...

Start getting into habits - phone a certain friend EVERY Saturday or Sunday evening, religiously, within an hour of a given time slot, and after a few weeks, have too much wine, and confess why you're doing it.

Then at least you have an unspoken assurance that someone out there is at least going to phone you to check you're ok?

Soon your little one will be able to communicate fully, don't worry.

Or have a Paws Is Still Breathing thread on here that you have to check in on

I'm serious, I do worst case scenario thinking all the time.

Oh you are all fabs! We do go to sunday lunch at 12.45 every sunday at college, and go to ballet every sat and riding every sun and swimming every tues, but they are not the kind of things that flag up with people. May do the ringing thing actually-am very lax with ringing people so think it may be wise to get into that habit-a different person every night

As she is aware of dialling 999 for an emergency, maybe put a little red sticker on the number nine on your phone, so she knows shich one it is.

Oooh, clever lilred, v clever-you have all thought about this so much more than me

I've just joined this site and i'm so glad other people feel like i do, although it's really sad, i consantly think about death. My son is 6 and i've thought about it since getting my own place when he was a year old. I worry all the time, sometimes to the point of crying myself to sleep at night.."what if anything happens to me" "who will find my son" "when will they find my son" etc etc.. But i'm always in contact with my mum and she would know something wasn't right if i weren't to call her, i'm also in touch with other family members and have a lovely neighbour over the road i see nearly every day. Someone would always know something wasn't right. My son also knows 999 and knows what to do if "mummy wasn't breathing" although even talking about this with him made me cry!! I'm so relieved that i'm not going insane and others think the same way i do.

I've also done the speed dial thing & regularly get dd to dial for me to check she still remembers what to do. It's a definite worry & you're not alone xx

I always had this worry as well: though we live in a terrace and noise travels so I always hoped that if I did die in the night, the neighbours would hear DS screaming before too long. He is 4 now and I ahve been thinking it's time to explain 999 to him.

I worry about this too. I speak to my Mum most days, and this post reminds me that I must tell her to ring me if for some reason I haven't rung her by the end of the day. She has the phone numbers of local friends, who have keys to my house, so they could let themselves in if necessary.

It's a scray horrible thought isn't it.

Very very sadly, this did happen to my sister's best friend. She died very unexpectedly (aged about 23) of a heart attack. She had a daughter who was nearly 2 and was a lone parent. She was living in a flat, and the neighbour called her father within an hour or so as she heard the baby crying and knew that this wasn't normal.

I have lots of friends who have keys to my house, but they wouldn't be able to get in if I was in the house as I leave the keys in the lock. Must remember to remove them. I lift share for the school run with a friend on the street, so Monday-Friday, I'd be 'missed' quite quickly. The weekends are more touch and go. I speak to family daily, but they wouldn't worry if they didn't speak to me for a day. The DS's would also struggle to open the doors if they were locked and my phones are cordless, so never in the same place Perhaps I should buy another simple phone which I can plug in and teach them to use. Well DS1 anyway (4). Think DS2 at 2 would be pushing it!

I often worry about this too, stupidly for me though as my mum lives opposite and phone or pops over a million times a day. I did teach DD who's 4 about 999 in the summer, but that resulted in a police visit after she had called them unbeknown to me so think she knows now only to phone them in an emergency, she was petrified they would take her away.

I feel for you as it is always a worry . My kids are a bit older and have taught both my boys 7 and 9 what to do in an emergency. I was admitted to hospital yesterday in an ambulance But I managed to get a friend round to look after them before they took me away. She was someone they knew well and they werent at all fazed. She said mummy will be OK and called my exH to come home. what was nice was that our neighbour who we dont really know well did call to see what was up when he saw all the blue flashing lights. We also have numbers on speed dial for the kids to call. Fortunately mummy is OK although the school were a bit surprised when I walked in at parents evening today!