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Can i have a moan about my Ex please? Sorry, long.

18 replies

VineGuyFawkesFeltMyTits · 03/11/2008 15:01

He is a fuckwit, a complete and utter fuckwit.

He lives with his mother and see ds one night every weekend, every week i say to him, ring me at the begining of the week(mon, tues) to let me know which night you want ds so i can plan my weekend (he dj's, so sometimes works friday nights) and everyweek he rings me on fecking Friday!

His mother does most of the parenting for ds when he is there(which doesnt bother me, in fact i prefer it as i know ds is well looked after) xp just sits in his room on the computer all day.

This weekend his mother was away for the weekend, so he rings me friday to tell me he cant have ds as there is not heating, boiler is broke, but wants to take him out on Sunday, i say fine, let me know what time your picking him up, so he sayd ok, will ring to confirm.

He rings on sat to say his dad will be picking ds up as he has no tax on his car (his dad picks him up every week as he always has some excuse not to, which suits me, as dont want to have to look see the tosser in person) then he speaks to ds on phone and tells him 'Grandpa is picking you up tomorrow to go and see some fireworks with Daddy' ds is all excited. Xp says will ring you Sun morning to say what time, it will probably be early.

Sunday - ds is excited, keeps asking when grandpa is coming, come lunch time xp still hasnt rang, so i ring him, he says oh i was jsut going to call you grandpa will be there to get him at 2pm. I say ok but ds has been waiting all morning and is very excited, so xp says, oh, i will ring my dad now and see if he will pick him up early then, if i dont ring you back it will be 2pm.

2.30pm poor ds still waiting to be picked up. I text Grandpa, he rings straight back and says xp told him 3pm, wtf?

He also said xp never rang to ask him to pick up ds early then he says, he offered to come and get ds at 11am, but xp told him i was busy, and he couldnt get him till 3pm he also said he brought 4 extra heaters to the house so ds could stay at the weekend, but xp told me house was too cold for ds to stay.

i made plans for 2pm, so my day was ruined, ds waited all day and was grumpy and whiney, so i rang xp and told him what a fuckwit he is and he couldnt organise a pissup in a brewery without his mum being around!

He does stuff like this every week, i am sick of biting my tongue for the sake of ds

OP posts:
VineGuyFawkesFeltMyTits · 03/11/2008 15:04

He is 34 btw, but acts like a 12 yrold, TIA for letting me moan.

OP posts:
glitterfairy · 03/11/2008 15:24

He sounds an utter prat! moan away. Your poor ds.

VineGuyFawkesFeltMyTits · 03/11/2008 16:15

Thanks glitterfairy, i rarely moan about him, he is such an ubber tosspot he is not worth the time and energy to moan about, but sometimes just need to have a bit of a moan and a big

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glitterfairy · 03/11/2008 17:02

Did you mean Uber tosspot or utter! LOL

Its hard not to moan though and if you cant do it here then all is lost! My life is better since I stopped all contact with my X he still annoys me but he makes arrangements with my youngest direct and will never pay any money towards the three kids so I just need to get on with it.

Tinkerbel6 · 03/11/2008 17:36

vineguy have you got your ex's dad's number ? might be worth getting it if not and communicating direct with him in future, your comments on your ex is valid and I can see where you are coming from, lol

CarGirl · 03/11/2008 17:39

It sounds to me like your ex is trying to cause friction between you and your ex IL's, I would start communication direct with the grandparents as they seem to be the ones looking after him anyway?

VineGuyFawkesFeltMyTits · 03/11/2008 17:43

Yes i do have x fil's number, he is a lovely man who utterly adores my ds, but he gets told by my ex to back off when he takes to much interest, i only wish my ex took as much interest in him, my x mil is also lovely, it amazes me how they produced such a selfish twit of a son

OP posts:
NotDoingTheHousework · 03/11/2008 17:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

VineGuyFawkesFeltMyTits · 03/11/2008 17:53

It has crossed my mind NDTH

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Liffey · 03/11/2008 18:06

How awful. He sounds like he didn't want to be responsible. OK to have his little buddy there if his mum is around to do the donkey work though.

I think you should deal with your x inlaws. Drop your son off at a time agreed with them, at their house. And then, leave it up to them to reel in their son. You know your son is in good hands with them, and at least that way your son gets to see something of his father and you get to do what you've planned.

lostdad · 03/11/2008 18:26

Think of it as your DS spending time with his grandparents and paternal family. It's not just about his father and it's a shame he doesn't sound like he's being a decent one.

You're doing the right thing though.

VineGuyFawkesFeltMyTits · 03/11/2008 21:14

Oh of course LD, and i do, i also encourage xp to see ds as often as possible (not for his benefit, for my ds) but its been a long hard slog to get him to take some responsibility, he didnt meet ds until he was 3 mths old (he went into shock for 9mths when i told him i was pg and i didnt hear from him) and that was because i had to gently persuade him to come and meet ds, i want ds to have a wonderful relationship with his paternal family, including his daddy, but it sometimes feels like i am doing all the hard work on xp's part, and really just felt like a moan today, but hey ho, any week, another round of biting my tongue

OP posts:
CarGirl · 03/11/2008 21:29

If that's the case I think I would speak direct to the grandparents and ask them would they like a regular weekend slot and let your ex spend time with ds when he knows his parents will have him?

It would take the resentment out of the situation for you and the gps will know that their part is being recognised.

Tough one.

VineGuyFawkesFeltMyTits · 03/11/2008 21:48

I wouldnt do that though Cargirl because I want ds to have a good relationship with his daddy, which is why i wouldnt go over his head and offer his parents a weekend slot, regardless of how much i resent my ex, i think that would be a shitty thing to do to him. I am prepared to do the donkey work to make get xp to be a responsible father, but it doesnt stop me wanting to have a moan, when he messes both ds and my plans up because he cant organise his day.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 03/11/2008 21:58

I don't really mean go over his head but if he relies on his Dad to do the collecting etc then perhaps you need to collude a bit and get them to explain to him that you need a firmer arrangement, or to make decisions by Wednesday?

Sounds like everyone is dancing to his tune?

lostdad · 03/11/2008 22:44

Well, it sounds like your ds is lucky to have at least one responsible parent who puts him first, VineGuyFawkesFeltMyTits.

That's why I don't give up on my son despite everything my ex has thrown at me!

unlikelyamazonian · 03/11/2008 22:57

Lostdad where are you lost? Do you need a map and torch? I absolutely hate your ex. Fireworks night is coming up....can't you rocket her arse?

VinegarTits · 04/11/2008 08:57

Thanks for letting me moan guys, and Cargirl, you are right, everybody is dancing to his tune, they always have, which is why he is so spoilt and selfish, he is 34 years old, living with his mother, and doesnt have a proper job (he earns enough to keep himself in cigerettes by dj'ing and building the odd website)

His dad owns his own business but is getting old now and needs a hip replacement, my ex wouldnt even dream of taking over his role in the family business so his dad can retire, its too much like hard work!

CSA worked out he could afford to give me £5 a week and i have never seen a penny of that in 2 yrs, which reminds me, they are due a phone call and another moan from me too

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