I wonder what it is about me that screams "money grabbing cow"?

[ShyBaby]

All weekend i've been thinking about something exp said. (Recent events very strange as my last thread).

We were chatting and I asked if he had mentioned our situation to anyone. He said he had, went on to say that he had no doubts but the few people he had chatted with were trying to put doubts in his mind re dd actually being his, and asking if I was "giving him shit".

Yes so obviously, despite the fact he left me pregnant and ignored us for five years...I am somehow in the wrong...even though it was him that contacted me when i'd more or less given up hope of him ever wanting to be her dad?

Who are these fuckwit friends who think its really ok to poke their nose into my business..when they have never met me and know eff all about the relationship we had? What is wrong with some people and why are they too stupid to realise I just want dd to know her dad, am really not interested in the 5p he has in his pocket.

If i'd have ranted at him i'd be a madwoman..because I havent everyone is suspicious. Cant win can you?

For goodness sake, he finally came back and yet some people still have to put the boot in. Im seriously starting to think this isn't worth the hassle.

Shame on me for trying to do the right thing What else am I supposed to do?

you can only do you best shybaby. these so called friends are not real friends, as you say they are fuckwits!!
jealousy, envy, ignorance and many other things come to mind. sometimes though a so called friend is an invention to divert his own thoughts to someone else in your eyes. its a sort of get out clause, he airs his feelings but assigns them to someone else umknown to you (so you can't go and check). My ex does this often too, she invents many friends who say things to her about me, but her trouble is with her specific mental problem, she beleives these ''friends'' thoughts, it is weird!! (or it could be a new partner of his trying to spike this new contact with his previous life?)

have you tried writing down everything for your own sake, what you want, what you are trying to achieve, what you want from him, then edit it, condense it and send it all in a letter to him and ask if you and he can work out where you go from here?
if he says no and carries on like he is you have 2 choices, either walk away for the sake and sanity of you and your daughter, or become the person he thinks his friends think you are.

Shybaby, I found your last thread and read it.
Tell him to bollocks, and that you are decent and honourable and didn't have to accept HIS request for access, after he had never bothered to see her for the first 5 years of her life.
As for telling you that people thing dd is not his, He is playing with your mind and doing so to abolish himself from the guilt he might be feeling for putting the mother of his other baby first.
He sounds a nob, you are lovely, you have brought two kids up on your own, and never asked for anything of anyone.

What do you mean by he finally came back? thats a worrying line. He has never seen your dd before these last few weeks. So, have YOU taken him back or am I reading to much into things.

I don't know your situation, but the first thing that came into my head when I read that he said his 'friends' had been saying such things was 'bullshit'. It sounds as if that's just what he thinks, and wants to give it the appearance of being a consensus

Thanks for messages. I haven't taken him back...god no!! I always knew he would make contact though...I tried to convince myself he wouldn't..after the first three years because it would have driven me insane but somehow I knew he wouldn't stay away forever.

I'm really wishing I didn't have to do this. I could stop contact but that wouldn't be fair to dd. My feelings are all over the place. She doesn't know him well enough to have contact on their own but I hate him being here.

So, people who hardly know him, weren't aware of your relationship, and didn't know either of you five years ago actually feel equipped to speculate as to whether or not your are lying about him being the father!!

Beggars belief. You have the truth on your side so let it slide off you.

I have just read sheila's pst and I think she's probably right. He's putting a shocking idea out there, but hiding behind these supposed 'friends'.

Now his little harem are posting rather graphic details of what they have supposedly been doing with him on his profile...one of them the "friend" who asked if I was "giving him shit".

Talk about rubbing my face in it...what is he trying to do to me? What on earth did I do to deserve this? My head hurts, my heart hurts. I look at dd and I want to smack him so hard for trying to make me believe he'd changed. Damn him.

Where are you reading this stuff?

it's either a)

kneejerk mysogyny or

b) waht sheilatakeabow said