Right, i was on mumsnet a long time ago but aven't been on for ages. Feel i need to come back because so much bollocks has happened i need some people to talk to! Now i shall explain!
Right last year me and h had money problems, he moved out, i filed for divorce, we got back together i thought everything was fine. About 6 weeks ago i went on holiday with the kids and my parents, the bloke from upstairs accused my h of sleeping with his gf, she was my mate i said rubbish, she finished with her bloke that week (getting it so far???). We went out for her birthday after i got back and my h decided to tell me in the middle of a nightclub he didnt think he loved me anymore. I told him to sort his head out, he left the nightclub, she disapeared.
the next day he said he hadn't loved me since he came back (4 months earlier) ut it was convienient. they both said they weren't together and hadn't been. i was a state believe it or not, but started to think maybe it'd be ok in the end. 18 hours later he informed me him and the girl from upatirs were together.
it all got very confusing they broke up she moved back upstairs, now they're back together and when my kids see him they're seeing her as well!!
i hate it. i dont love him anymore i really dont, i thought there weren't problems but there obvoiusly were or i wouldnt not love him so quickly.
but to see him getting on with his life, able to go out do whatever he wants while i'm here with the kids we brought into the world together and i can't move on. i had a chance of a sort of relationship (not serious i might add) but he couldnt do it because 'it's hard to take on somebody elses kids' ......... now thats the rest of my life, i'm always gunna be sat at home alone with someone elses kids and i dont know if i can bear it any longer.
i've thought about walking away from my kids, now thats not right and it makes me hate myself but it would be so much easier, i want to have a life and this isn't the one i chose.
if you've read right to the end well done, and i hope someone has some words of wisdom to make me feel better coz right now i could just keep walking and never look back!