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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

This is all so rubbish it's unreal!!!

12 replies

StaceymAloneForver · 28/10/2008 20:56

Right, i was on mumsnet a long time ago but aven't been on for ages. Feel i need to come back because so much bollocks has happened i need some people to talk to! Now i shall explain!

Right last year me and h had money problems, he moved out, i filed for divorce, we got back together i thought everything was fine. About 6 weeks ago i went on holiday with the kids and my parents, the bloke from upstairs accused my h of sleeping with his gf, she was my mate i said rubbish, she finished with her bloke that week (getting it so far???). We went out for her birthday after i got back and my h decided to tell me in the middle of a nightclub he didnt think he loved me anymore. I told him to sort his head out, he left the nightclub, she disapeared.

the next day he said he hadn't loved me since he came back (4 months earlier) ut it was convienient. they both said they weren't together and hadn't been. i was a state believe it or not, but started to think maybe it'd be ok in the end. 18 hours later he informed me him and the girl from upatirs were together.

it all got very confusing they broke up she moved back upstairs, now they're back together and when my kids see him they're seeing her as well!!

i hate it. i dont love him anymore i really dont, i thought there weren't problems but there obvoiusly were or i wouldnt not love him so quickly.

but to see him getting on with his life, able to go out do whatever he wants while i'm here with the kids we brought into the world together and i can't move on. i had a chance of a sort of relationship (not serious i might add) but he couldnt do it because 'it's hard to take on somebody elses kids' ......... now thats the rest of my life, i'm always gunna be sat at home alone with someone elses kids and i dont know if i can bear it any longer.

i've thought about walking away from my kids, now thats not right and it makes me hate myself but it would be so much easier, i want to have a life and this isn't the one i chose.

if you've read right to the end well done, and i hope someone has some words of wisdom to make me feel better coz right now i could just keep walking and never look back!

OP posts:
NotDoingTheHousework · 28/10/2008 21:02

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StaceymAloneForver · 28/10/2008 21:04

Doesn't feel like i'l ever find anyone, or deserve anyone.

i must have done something truely wrong to be treated like this i can tell you that.

OP posts:
IllegallyBrunette · 28/10/2008 21:07

He is an idiot, you deserve lots better and you will eventually find someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve.

NDTH - Your last sentence mae me snort my wine

NotDoingTheHousework · 28/10/2008 21:08

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StaceymAloneForver · 28/10/2008 21:13

i have cleverly deletd him and said x friend from facebook as couldnt deal with seeing messages telling her to wear her 'fuck me shoes' when she sees him.

wanna believe i'll be better off than him but can't see it, just can't

OP posts:
NotDoingTheHousework · 28/10/2008 21:21

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StaceymAloneForver · 28/10/2008 21:22

feeling like this for a year?

you must be joking i cant stand feeling like this for one day let alone a year!!

OP posts:
NotDoingTheHousework · 28/10/2008 21:25

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StaceymAloneForver · 28/10/2008 21:30

the dancing unicorns and butterflies sound better!!

lol

argh!! wish things were different, gotta go bed, got work tomo, 3pm till 11pm, great great fun!

thanks for talkin to me, it better than sitting on my own!

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 28/10/2008 21:35

Stacey - look at the pics on my profile. I got married to the love of my life in August after 12 years together. When we met he said it would have to be casual as I had two dd's (aged 2 and 4)...he had serious thoughts about whether he could take on someone else's children, But he did and he said eventually he loved them as people in their own right but he loved them first becaus they were not just someone elses children they were MY childrenHe is the best dad in the world and we now have a 3 yr old dd too

Your true love IS out there somewhere...

Boysboysboys · 04/11/2008 08:58

Blimey DDF, your daughter looks like keira knightly, but much more beautiful!

hauntedcitylover · 04/11/2008 10:06

Generally speaking the non resident parent does have the freedom to move on more quickly than the resident parent.

This is usually the man in most cases and I agree it is galling to see that unfold before your eyes whilst you bear the brunt of the responsbility and child
care. It's happening to me as we speak.

Within six months of us splitting exh was in a serious relationship and within 18 has had two more children with new P. The fact that hs screwed up bigtime and does the bare minimum to support our DCs (financially and emotionally) and is now living in relative luxury a boden lifestyle while we are living a lidl lifestyle does stick in the throat.

It is unfair. HOwever I know I have a much closer relationship with DCs, I am a happier and better person.

Regarding new men in my life I think some may be put off - it would have to be an exceptional man to come into my life and live with me and my kids. Not just from his perspective but also from me sharing my /our space.

But I am not living like a nun I do have a relationship of sorts and not sure whether at this point I want a full blowm relationship again.

Hope this helps at bit. It must be very raw for you at the moment.

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