Any Mumsnetters lawyers?? Why would my x bother recording my phone conversation when he can't use it against me? OR CAN HE!?

[Liffey]

He spent £200 on a pissy solicitor's letter threatening to go to court for residency, so, in turn, I had to go and spend the same amount on a solicitor as well.

Then the knob phoned me. He was being uncharacteristically civil and reasonable though. I managed to finish my sentences for once, so I got into mystride and I was a fire-breathing bitch with go-faster stripes bells and whistles. I don't think I said anything that would put my parenting in question, but OH MY GOD was I angry with him.

Can phone conversations be used against somebody?? I know it's against the law to record somebody without their knowledge, so what was he hoping to achieve I wonder...

I feel like he's got one over on me.

ps, there was one thing I said, about how it would be or could be nice to hand over the children to him, so that I could have a break. And he really leaped on that comment, and I explained it as meaning that I would like to be able to send them off for a good day out with their father, but that I can't do it at the moment becuase I don't trust him.

But he kept saying "so you need a break?" You feel you can't manage all the time?" trying to put words in my mouth. Luckily I said, "no" and did explain it more clearly. But have a really bad feeling.

I know it's bad netiquette to post this on the legal board too but I may do that.

My ex used to this, phone during the day, start an argument, keep telling me "just say if you don't want me to see the dc", Thankfully/fortunately every time he said it I was able to say "you do want you think is in the best interests of our dc", he was taping these arguments. When challenged by my solicitor he said it was for he own personal records. I was told they couldn't be used agianst me in court.
It is worrying though.

My solicitor wouldn't even mention it in his letter to my x! I'm not sure why! Surely he could have put in a reminder that it is illegal to tape conversations...

Was your x about to take you to court on the strength of his supposed 'evidence'? And then he backed down?

I'm still worried, because if a judge knows that tapes exist, then even if the judge won't listen to them, it might bias him towards the party with the supposed 'evidence'.

Like you, I don't think I said anything too detrimental. LIke 'I'm not going to allow you to see the kids', but I felt he really wanted me to say that. It was only afterwards that I thought to myself, that conversation was being taped...

It cant be used, but possibly your X doesnt know that?

I wouldnt worry about a judge being told by your x that tapes exist. Judges are used to only thinking about the evidence that is admissable and not anything else that people might suggest.

nope it is cannot be used unless at the start of the conversation he said i am recording this conversation for legal purposes do you undersatnd this. no court would take it into account. try not to worry.

Ok thanks both of you. I will definitely try to forget it now. If it really can't be used, ever, then his solicitor will tell him so, and probably privately laugh at his attempts to solve the case!

Actually it is only illegal to tape a conversation where neither party to the conversation is aware. As your ex is aware of the taping he can tape it with no problems at all.

The recording itself may not be admisable in court, but he simply has to transcribe it and can submit his transcription of phone calls. If you call into question his transcription he can then offer the recording to the court as proof he has accurately transcribed the conversation. It is then up to the judge if they want to hear it to verify the transcription or not.

This can be done with conversations, phone calls, text messages etc.

So yes be careful what you say at all times.

Thanks gillybean hmmm. That would be better than listening to it in a raised voice scream as per my actual voice. WHAT I was saying was all true and good points, and not a stream of insults iyswim. It would seem less bad in a transcript I think.

But still, thanks for that gillybean2, I'm sure most people don't know that, so that is really intersting and I will be very cautious in future.