Urgent financial advice please

[Upsydaisy1]

My ex h earns a basic salary of £60k with a commission of £40k. He grosses around £100k. DH net salary is around £5,000 per month.

He walked out on me, ds4 and ds 11 months when I found out about his affair.

My monthly basic outgoings including food is £2,100 per month. £800 is for the mortgage. I earn £250 per month as I work 7 hours a week.

He wants to give me £1,300 per month which simply won't cover eveything. I've cut down to basics, don't have a car and have no credit card etc.

I simply don't know how I am going to make up the difference and manage to clothe the kids etc.

Am I entitled to any help? I don't qualify for Tax credit as I don't work 16 hours or more and to be honest until ds2 is at playschool have little chance to work more hours.

Is there anyone who can advise me. I am going through a divorce, but am floundering a bit on the money side of things. Just what should he be paying me?

You should get your solicitor to apply for an interim order for spousal and child maintenance. As his wife you are entitled to claim maintenance for yourself as well as your children. Tbh though the amount he is paying sounds pretty high, compared with what the CSA would make him pay. Chances are that he will only declare his basic salary and claim that his bonus isn't guaranteed.

That is my fear too. Funny how he has the money to buy expensive clothes and go on holiday though!

Can I claim any benefits? All I am asking of him is to cover the outgoings and food each month. I can manage on that until I am in a position to work and earn money for their clothes, outings and holidays etc.

I just don't see why his children should go without just because he has had an affair and left us to start a new life. I am really worried that we could lose our home

Look here www.entitledto.com/ for what benefits you may be entitled to.

Can you increase your hours a little and look into local nurseries? You may be able to get help with your childcare costs, although I am not sure about that due to income level.

The guidelines for minimum maintenance are 20% of net salary, so your ex is already paying more than that.

Is there any option for selling and moving to somewhere cheaper? This may be the best option in the long run...although tricky at the moment.

It might help if you gave us some idea of the breakdown of the £1,300 you spend each month on top of the mortgage so that we can look at options for savings. It would help to look at each cost and see whether you can make savings eg by changing supplier or your general spending habits.

Sorry, don't feel you have to give any more info if you don't want to.... Good luck - been there....

My advice :

Give up your job.
You will then get tax credits, and you can keep all the maintenance too. You may also be entitled to income support of about £60 per week.
You will get more in tax credits than you do for working, you should get about £90 per week tax credits.

SBH thanks for the advice. Will post my outgoings tomorrow for you all to see. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Would do it now but it's been a really tough day so am off the bed. Night!

Upsydaisy you either need to give up your job to have zero income or bump your hours up to 16 and claim working tax credits, when you receive that maintenance it will cancel out all benefits as it is regarded as income. Your best bet is to claim maintenance, get a job for 16 hours, claim child and working tax credit, and credit for nursery fees. Your mortgage is a big one, is there any chance of getting something cheaper, I do understand that your ex did wrong but he dont have to pay maintenance to cover all your outgoings, in excess of £300 per is a lot of money to receive for maintenance, if the mortgage is in joint names you might want to sell it and then go and buy or rent elsewhere

Bonus' are taken into account but you may have to work a year behind, and so he will need to show you his P60 each year, and then you receive child maintenance money based on that last years total net income. With such a difference in your salaries, you will also be due spousal maintenance, and are likely to be able to keep a larger proportion of the family home, unless you have savings that would equalise things more.

As others have said though, he is already giving more than the CSA guidelines so I am guessing that his contribution may already be including something towards spousal maintenance. So it is definately worth looking at your other expenses, as you have a lot of outgoings. It is unfair when someone walks out and leaves after an affair, but unfortunately the law doesn't take who is at fault into account, it will only look at trying to ensure that there is enough money to house you both to the best possible outcome based on your needs. You have two children, and a lower salary and so I would be hopeful that you would be looked after. A solicitor will be the best person to advise you. Best of luck x

the other thing you can do is apply under sch1 of the childrens act for his share of the equity in the property to be transferred into the childs name until they are no longer a minor.

TBH you are getting a bloody good chunk - my ex earns £100k + another potential 60K in non guarnateed bonuses and is paying my daughter £800 per month (as per csa guidelines - we werent married so I get zilch - as a result I have had to sell him my share of the house for far less thank I wanted to and initially agreed to as a result of the bloddy credit crunch so he can move his slapper in with him and I can move on - oh yes I have also had to move over 5 hrs drive away in order to get support from my parents in childcare whilst I work full time now I get working families and child tax credit but yes things are never going to be the same financially - my job is temp so I cant get a mortgage either and most companies wont take TC and maintenace into consideration for mortgage purposes - so my advice is get him to agree to that amount ASAP in writing through a solicitor - these men have a way of picking their timing dont they

Hiya.... to be honest, like others have said what he paying you is a huge wack compared to what he would have to pay re CSA guidlines. How amicable is he ?? if you start to kick up a fuss it may be possible that he could reduce your maintinence to £1000 per month !!. Have you put in a claim for CTC yet ??? you will now qualify as you wouldn't of on a 100k salary . I'm not sure if they count maintenence as income (I dont get any so its never been an issue for me) soz just looked at it says not), if they dont you will get to full wack of £45 ish. Dont know how much it is for two kids.

So basically you either go out to work some more hours which you said wasnt possible, ask if he will pay more or just learn to live with it.To be honest I dont know what you are spending 'basic' living on £1300 a month, my basic bills... gas, electric, council tax, water, house ins,phone/broadband, homeserve come to £375 for a four bed house, so in your shoes that would leave me £925 for food clothing etc which for some people is a LOT

I suspect you have got used to living a certain way having a huge slary and I'm afraid you may just have to cut your cloth accordingly from now on