Anyone hate their ex p with a vengance?

[taken4granted]

I hate my ex p totally - he is the bggest piece of shite possible Doesnt give a shite about seeing his daughter will only do it if and when he can be arsed - he ofrced us to move 400 miles away put my dd through hell and back (not to metion me) I try and be nice about him but its extremely difficult I jjust wish you could google hitman and get someone to do the deed - life would be soooooooooo much better..........

Taken4granted: you left school to be with a worthless waster? You have paid a heavy price.

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Ann Bronte deals with this issue which was a social problem 200 years ago and although things have changed a lot, it still isn't solved.

Let me see...my ex accused me of domestic violence and physically abusing my son, had her family call the police on me when I wanted to take a walk in his pushchair, found out, employed and used a solicitor before she left me (and acted `normal' to me whilst doing so), opened a bank account and claimed benefits I didn't know about, petitioned for divorce without saying a word to me about it (and within 30 days), lied her head off to get as much money as possible, denied all contact with my son (and his grandparents, too), raided the house while she knew I was out, cut all of our friends off and then took my son 300 miles away to live with a bloke I've never met and don't know the name of.

Do I hate her? No. I feel nothing for her. But I do worry for our son.

i did start a thread not so long ago saying i officially hated my exh now, but actually i still cant bring myself to waste that much emotion on him, so i dont

although i do go through periods of wanting to kill the clown

oh toothache

i am off to sign my divorce papers today to get it all rolling, finally

am looking forward to it

Lostdad I guess you feel a lot of sympathy with Bob Geldof.

What do you think was the real reason she wanted to break off all contact between you and your son?

I am sure it is possible for partners of either sex to lie and cheat and behave badly around the issue of splitting up. So much is at stake.

My ex is a uber knobhead, wanker, and shite pittiful excuse for a man, frankly i would not waste my precious time and energy hating him, he means nothing to me so i am indifferent

I just got a letter form x's solicitor this morning. I was shaking with rage the first time I read it, but now I'm nearly,nearly, almost laughing at some parts of it.

Like the bit where the letter says he didn't know that I was taking the children away. So, he's forgotten that he asked me are you coming back, and I said no, and then he dragged me by my hair to the floor and started kicking and punching me. So I had to go to the airport with bruises and a red bloodshot eye.
I can see how that would be easier to forget when you were the one dishing it out.

And the letter says I am bringing the children up in reduced circumstances relying on benefits. Well, yes, that is because he gives us nothing. The letter also is a bit snide about the fact that I rely on my parents and do not have a job. But I am a full-time mother. That, for now, is my job!? Is a judge going to mock me for that the way he does??

He wants the children to live with him!!!!! The last time he saw them, my son came back with his nappy on backtofront.

At hte end of the letter it urges me to seek independednt legal advice. ARGHGHGHGHGHGHGGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

Elasticwoman. I don't know. I've given up speculating most of the time.

The most likely reason though is it is the easiest option for her. She decided she didn't want to be with me for whatever reason (and quite frankly it doesn't why now!) and thought the best way to deal with it was act as if I never existed.

If it wasn't for our son, it's a way of dealing with things I would be quite happy with. As much as she hates me though, she has a responsibility to ensure our son has a good relationship with his father, rather than just doing what suits her.

the last letter i got from my exh's solicitor, had me calling her up and telling her i wiped my arse on it , as it was so full of shit

Liffey - a backtofront nappy is a good thing. A bad thing would be same nappy you sent him in, oozing and stinking over baby's sore bottom.

Taken4granted - indeed he is a bastard. Should be paying the mortgage while you stay in marital home. Is it the case that although the law is on your side, it just isn't enforced?

Lostdad - can you legally challenge your lack of access to your son? Can you write or communicate with him in any way? When he is old enough to make up his own mind where he lives and who he sees, he may well ask you what you did to try to regain access (if not residence). Do you have other dc by any chance (I guess not) or is this son the reason you come on to MN at all?

Oh, we're going through court. Hearing no. 5 shortly. I represent myself so she's either going to have to talk to me eventually, represent herself or pay her solicitor a hell of a lot of money because I ain't giving up.

Personally, I'd rather she talked to me.

My son is permitted to spend a day with me once every fortnight. He's not 2 yet. I don't have any other children...and I'm *"&^ed if I am going to wait until he is old enough to make his own mind up.

I came onto MN to try to understand the mindset of people like my ex as she refuses to communicate to me concerning him.

Lostdad, is your x in New Zealand or is that somebody different?

Lostdad, I'm glad to hear you do have some access and that you're not giving up. Best of luck. I'm sorry this has happened to you and you are right to be concerned about the welfare of your son.

I met a man once who told me his wife had run off (several decades ago) with a Roman Catholic priest. She had taken the dc with her and the deserted husband (who was v religious) was persuaded by the R C church to relinquish contact, as it was alleged that a little contact would be too upsetting for the dc, and the Church wanted to hush it all up anyway.

He had lived to regret this very much, as the children had grown up and asked him why he had abandonned them.

Lost dad you are certainly on your own when it comes to feeling re sponsible and loving your son - I just wish my ex shithead was half the man you are - I have to nag at him to ring dd and he resents having to come up and see her 9 saw her last weekend spent the afternoon with her and an hour in t he morning then had to rush back to the bitch - whom Im convinced is about to give birth any moment and conveniently he cant ring daughter as hes in hospital having an op (Ove done the math and whilst he will never admit to me about my c oncerns re new family he s till th inks Im this stupid good for nothing idiot he was with for so many years. Its sad that there are s o many other mums on here in similar situations but Im taking consolation iin the fact that there are other mums like it and maybe a sympathetic ear will help me get through. Still hate the git though and cant actually see a day when I wont - purely because I love our daughter so much and hate the fact that he has treated her like he has without one second thought - as for the tart I take solice in the knowledge that if he left me and dd after 13 yrs (well dd is 7) then he can certainly do it to this one too and quite frankly she deserves all she gets. So i dont even feel sorry for her. Ah well another day has gone by - its weird how they seem to pass and before you know it im 7 months down the line and looking fwd to our first birthdays as a single parent family and 1st x mas - I just hate the fact that I know he will spend a fortune on wholly inappropriate gifts for dd just to piss me off as he knows I cant afford a party or anything for her. One thing he cant buy which is priceless is a whole bunch of love for dd and Im brimming over with that I suppose.

Oh yes ex wont speak to me he does all the communication via e mail when he can be arsed.

It's the old old story but you do wonder how a woman can take on a man who already has a wife and daughter, and then get pregnant, thus giving him an opportunity to repeat past bad behaviour. It would be more understandable if she had just wanted a quick fling. Why have a baby with a man who has already proved what a crap father he is?

But think back: what did he have in his past when YOU took him on? Any clues to his future faithlessness, or was he a fully paid up member of True Love Waits?

Tryin real hard NOT to hate my ex after he walked out.(considered havin affair with co worker i showed him the door!)
Is giving maintainenace and sees daughter every other sat.
Dvorce final very soon, due to domestic abuse.
Does it get any easier? Being the 'no' parent all the time. trying real hard NOT to tell ex he is STOOPID for goin away over next hols, and askin 10 yr old daughter if thats ok! she says yes, then cries for hrs after as she was lookin forward to seein him havin got used to routine of seein him more in hols!!!!!!!! Sorry if this in wrong thread!