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ExH winding me up - need to rant

2 replies

popcorn123 · 28/09/2008 22:49

Left my H 5 months ago due to emotional abuse towards me and my dc and occassional physical abuse towards me and being rough (in anger) with the dc's (2 +3).

From my perspective he has done nothing to show he has changed. Still takes no responsibility towards dc's. Has them for a few hours now and then -never by himself always with his mum and sometimes with me. Doesn't feed them or change them - or take any responsibilty. Can never pin him down to exactly the when he will see them.
Though to listen to him he is superdad who has continued to be wonderful.

He is blaming all this on me and saying that I have broken so many rules and will pay for it if comes to divorce.
e.g I had no right to move out with the kids and will look bad in court ( I have tired to accommodate him 100% in seeing his kids)
As I have stopped contribiting to the mortgage (we paid about 50:50 when I lived there) I have given up rights to the house and legally I was wrong to do this.
I am staying in private rented accomodation -and pay for everything myself including paying his mum for childcare while I work.
He earns nearly double what I earn and doesn't feel that he should contribute anything towards the children as I took them away from him.

He is blaming all his bad behaviour on me being a "difficult" person and despite this is still saying that we should get back together.

He wanted us to go out as a "family" tommorrow. I said no. He said then take them to my mums at 10am and I will see them. When I do this he usually turns up at 12-1pm as that is when he gets up and I said that I expected him to be therea at 10am as he should be in charge - he said I was being unreasonable.

He persuded his mum to phone my mum and arrange a meeting for us all top discuss our communication problems!

He keeps quoting that he has legal advice for all this and i have done so many thing wrong. Even though I have consulted a solicitor and know my rights and he has been asking friends the whole thing is freakingme out.
He aways out talks me and I end up feeling so frustrated at the end of our phone calls.
If I end the phone call early as I know ot os not going anywhere and I have so much to do as a working single mum that I can't afford stressful 2 hour phone call - then he complains to family that I hang up on him and won't talk and therfore nothing can be resolved.

So fed up with all this.

OP posts:
glitterball · 28/09/2008 23:47

popcorn - sorry, he sounds like a total tosser. he sounds rather like my ex in many ways - we split up 9 months ago although i only moved out 3 months ago (after he refused to) he used to tell me all the time how the law was on his side, that he knew his rights, he would see me in court etc. he has calmed down on that score but now refuses to speak to me or see me as apparently its too painful, he still has too many feeling for me despite when we were together telling me i was an evil, selfish fat ugly bitch etc!

in your situation i think i would be inclined to avoid speaking to him so far as possible, and just explain to other family members you have made your decision, (assuming you are happy as you are & you dont want him back of course) and that whilst you're happy to speak to him over issues to do with the children, thats as far as it goes.

hope it gets better for you

popcorn123 · 29/09/2008 07:35

I know I need to stop talking to him but it is hard as he makes me feel so guilty for being "unreasonable".

It just gets a bit scary when he talk about his "rights" and how I may lose the dc and rights to the equity from the house by moving out and even thought that is not what my solicitor said and he say's he got his information from a "number of legal sources" which I think is random advice by him teeling people that his evil wife kids away and is took his kids away and is refusing to contribute to the mortgage.

I know there are lots like him, I just can't understand that he is trying to get me back by telling me that I am worse than him and a nightmare to live with.I think I need to get more legal advice.

This is all so horrible. I can't imagine ever having another relationship for fear of this happening.

OP posts:
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