You know when people tell you that they can't understand why you are still single........

[IllegallyBrunette]

do you believe them or think that they are just saying it to be nice ??

SuperSillyus I agree with the longer you are single the harder it gets, I think after a while you get stuck in your ways and often not willing to change for whatever reason or not, think its an independence thing.

I agree Tinkerbel, I hate being single, but at the same time it has been nearly 3 years now and I am getting stuck in my ways.

A few people have also said to me that they think friends don't invite me out with them because they would see me as a threat. I find that really stupid and quite offensive as it kind fo implies that they think i'd be after their man, which i'd never do.

I went for it a bit too soon, perhaps, because of Tinkerbel's reasons (well, obv, they were mine too!). I can recommend friendsreuniteddating.com - but maybe I got really, really lucky. I think it depends on the person why they say it. A colleague said it to me while I was at work last night - and I felt terrible.

I say to this to a male friend of mine all the time and never really thought about why he thinks I say it. Maybe I shouldn't say it. But the thing is I can't understand it. He's good looking, a lawyer, has his own house, sings in a band (well), funny, interesting, caring, sensitive and one of my favourite people. No luck with women though.

I may advertise him on here.

ipod, i dont know what you mean by busted tho

i am gettign stuck in my ways too ib. the actual realsity thoughtof being a 'girlfriend' seems alien to me now.

I was tlaking to another single mum with very similar story to mine, and we agreed that it's all too confusing. Yrs back it used to be easy.
Grow up, get a boyfriend, get another one a few yrs later, be single for a bit, then maybe find 'the one'. Who then turns out not to be the one. Back to square one, but now you have a cynical/wounded side, which won't allow someone in,a ltho you think you should.could .

shit. its mental

i do get told this quite a lot, and ive only been on my own 18months.
Sometimes its from blokes!
i just have very very high standards and refuse to lower them. Yet. Give me a couple more years and i'll end up with someone who looks like Andrew Lloyd Webber, except without the success and money.

lou , this thread!!

ah it all makes sense now!

atleast I know why I'm still single!!

So, Gordon, where does you friend live then?

ninah, he's in Cambridge. Sorry, couldn't bear to be a gnome any longer. Shall I pay for an MN advert?

He just sounds so very nice. Er, what is his problem with women then?

Allgonebellyup - it's the opposites your standards get higher and higher the longer you stay single.

You start out thinking that anyone better looking than Christopher Ecclestone might be worth looking at. You end up thinking anyone not as good looking as Johnny Depp isn't worth meeting.

Seriously, I've just read Wifework by Susan Maushart, who points out just how much domestic servicing most men expect women to do for them subconsciously and I now just think I couldn't possibly ever live with a bog-standard man again. Never. That book has given me such a negative attitude to the idea of sharing my space with a man again.

ninah, I can't understand it. He gets on well with women and they end up good friends every time. He's too nice perhaps and was stung by a lady once so may be a little insecure.

I was also talking about this with a very gorgeous single mum friend of mine

I think we came to the conclusion that it would have to be a very very special type of man to join our space - we both have two boys.

But we are both interested in sex of course!!

So I have come to the conclusion that in the meantime I will cultivate a f++ buddy (or two would that be so awful)

My exbf (not exH) clearly does not want tobe part of our family (he is the only one so far I could see in that position). so I have decided today to become a bit of a player and try to keep detached.

Let's see how that pans out LOL

I suppose really that strategy is meant to protect me and the DCs - don't know if it will work - just don't think I can take any more drama/hurt

Bit like that Mary J Blige song - no more drama

thing is with that song - you just know she doesn't mean it!
Two would be better.

yeah i get asked too - and know its just being nice - in a patronising way - tho just reminds me i am still single rather than making me feel any better.

was asked the other night when an old friend phoned who i havent seen for a few years - i replied with my usual flippancy 'yeah, a few times', to which he jovially replied 'thats great, large families are good'. he wasnt even taking the mick. i guess its just an automatic question to many people now, the answer didnt even register.

God I never get asked! perhaps I should be worried. I quite like being single though.

Gordon/showofhands can I meet your single friend? Please? (as he lives in the same city as me )

People always say this to me, and I'm pretty sure they mean it. What they don't know is that I'm single out of choice, I am far too picky and haven't met anyone worth giving up my single life for yet!

Oh I get this all the time "what's the matter with you? go out have some fun and meet people" "Why on earth dont you have a bf, look at you" blah and blah and blah.

A few simple answers:

1. I never go out anywhere to meet anyone. I go to work and I go home, that's it.

1. Online dating is shite.

1. Yes, ive had offers but ive far too many responsibilities to be wasting my time on someone I dont even fancy. When I was younger it was easier to think "oh well, i'll go out for a drink with him anyway" and nine times out of ten I came home with the same opinion. Now I just dont bother..all that hassle with babysitters and things.

1. I had a few years break from dating only for my last relationship to go horribly wrong too. It seemed, nothing has changed. It's put me off a bit!

Nobody says this to me [looks in the mirror questioningly] - I'm hoping I haven't been single long enough yet for the pity to roll in, but if someone did say it I wouldn't feel it was genuine. Just pitying in a "poor Ewe maybe if I say this she will feel better about her life" kinda way.

I am young - 21 - so still hopeful that one day I will meet a wonderful man but tonight I am feeling really lonely. XP told me he kissed someone last week, just a random snog but it really hurt me and made me realise how I am still not over him at all.

I feel like I need a fling or just a man wanting me to give me the kick up the arse to detatch myself from XP and try to move on.

God that turned in to a long, largely unrelated rant, sorry!

If anyone ever says that to me I smile pityingly and say 'Oh, it's not hard to understand. I don't want a partner.'

i think they mean it but i can't see why they mean it iyswim.