so 11 yrs ago tomorrow, I got married (and it was a friday), and it feels like it never happened

[piratecat]

I never know how to deal with the anniversary. Each year it gets almost harder, to even remember that we were in fact in love. Each year it's been a day much like any other but with a huge weight to it it. This year is different becuase he is now re married, and the breakdonw in hos relationship with his daughter has been pretty bad.

I just feel sad. My wedding day was very special, the 19th of the 9th 1997. God that feels like 3 lifeties ago, yet is only 11 yrs ago. Its weird cos i live back down where we got married, and i remember the night before so well.

I dunno what i am doing even writing about it, but i wouldn't mind a hug

(((((hugs)))) to you pirate. I am another one who was abandoned. My h got on a lane and just disappeared. Have been to hell and back but am getting along ok now. We have baby son who is my big motivation. I am sure your dd is for you too. You have a lifetime of love to come from her remember.

I agree you maybe need to get some counselling for yourself - talking about him and how you miss him, saying it out loud to a third party - might lessen the feelings. Make you see you are pining for a man who isn't worth it. Help you move on.

I am sure you are coping very very well. You have fought so hard and well for your dd and always loved her and put her first. That's what matters.

It's only a date. My wedding day too meant so much to me...I have yet to go through these hurdles of anniversaries etc because H buggered off only four months ago. But I kind of think...well, at least I have HAD a wedding day, had that life experience, been there and done it. Even if it's all broken now. I can tick it off the list of have-dones. Now I need to hang-glide over Victoria Falls.....

Have a good time tonight.
Big hugs again.

thnaks humanbean, I feel for you. That sounds rubbish i know, but it's hard to describe. The anniversaries sort of loom, then today hasn't been too bad. It's just more poignant this year for lots of reasons.

I do try and think, i have been loved and i have loved. Only me and him know how true that was. Hence his relucatance to even face up to his responsibilites to his dd. That would mean thinking about dd AND me, as a unit, that he used to be a part of.

yes looking forward to tonight, will report back any funny business!

Want to hear if you contacted 'the other side'...of the bar. ie got to the front of the queue at the pub! ha ha. Anniversaries are usually more awful in the anticipation of them than the reality.

You have loved, he loved you. That is a good Life Experience. But his love wasn't very robust was it. You sound a robust person. If he is burying his head in the sand over you and dd and the 'family unit' then that is just no good for you or dd. He sounds a bit weak. And weak is no good when the shit really hits the fan. As he has proved. Move on girl. You are doing well. You have lots of friends and admirers on MN and isn't it great that we can all share the shit and know that somewhere out there one of us is at a medium evening! Well that's how I feel...stuck inside watching simon cowell.

Actually I am ok with that! I have glass of wine and have eaten a half-price Morrison's chicken tikka masala.

It's going to be an ok weekend weather-wise. Just think: you have clambered over another anniversary hurdle and are still a great mummy to your dd and her Big Protector. Take her for a picnic or just smile at her loads and laugh. For no reason.

Bugger your ex. Onwards and upwards.

piratecat how did the show go ?

hi there, thanks for checking in with me.

I am so glad yesterday has gone now.

The show was great, very small venue, about 40 people, so i feel it was harder somehow for the clairvoyants/mediums to get good signals.

I was really surprised by some of the accuracy tbh. Was sure a coulpe of words thrown out were for me, but it was for the couple in front, she said, but they did mean something to me!!!!

ie, it's your wedding anniversary ( to the couple in fornt) to which they said 'no' and she kept mentioning a name to them which is normally a christian name, which they didn't get, but it was MY surname!!! Yet she was doing it to them. Weird tho!!