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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

I have got to admit I am really struggling with parenting on my own...

12 replies

citronella · 27/08/2008 21:18

When I finally made up my mind that splitting from ex-h was the only option, I knew it wouldn't be easy being a lone parent but I thought I could do it (my mum did). But sometimes my patience is really so stretched by my dss that I lose it and all the 'textbook' parenting (you know - distraction tactics, naughty step, withdrawal of treats) goes right out the window and I end up yelling at them. And I am so disappointed in myself for it. Tonight they both were in tears because I yelled at them and said "no pudding" and they got no pudding.
It just seems hard when there is no one to step in for a bit when your ears are steaming!

OP posts:

MrsSnorty · 27/08/2008 21:25

Do you get any breaks from them? I.e are you working or anything? I really, really need the 'time-off' I get when DSs at nursery even though I'm busy with other things then.

Original poster

citronella · 27/08/2008 21:50

I do work full time although I am off at the moment so have had them solo 24/7 for nearly two weeks now which I know is nothing so that's why I'm a bit ashamed that I'm struggling. I agree sometimes the journey time in to work is valuable decompression time.

(sorry I took a while to come back, I just notice the thread about mn going down tonight -yikes)

OP posts:

Daisy79 · 27/08/2008 21:55

I'm sure most people would admit to loosing it sometimes, I've ended up in tears feeling so guilty for shouting at my 2 and they are good kids most of the time. Have you got anyone that can have them for a night so you can go out and let your hair down?

Original poster

citronella · 27/08/2008 22:03

That's the thing Daisy mostly they are lovely kids(and they're only little) and its not just me who says so. No no one really, not without military planning. But I'm making a note to myself to find a way for next term.
I just thought I'd vent a bit on here. That in itself is helpful.

OP posts:

MrsSnorty · 27/08/2008 22:15

Two weeks solid is not nothing, it's hard going in my book!

I'm a student but have been sending DS to nursery one or two days a week even during the holidays . I tried keeping him at home all week to begin with but it was too much for both of us, and I starting having 'outbursts' of the sort you describe. Had to admit that we both needed a break from each other (I don't have regular overnight/weekend options either).

Everyone loses it sometimes - including happily married parents. What you're doing is tough and if the worst you've done is tell them they can't have pudding then I think you're a pretty blardy patient woman.

Don't beat yourself up.

Daisy79 · 27/08/2008 22:18

I agree 2 weeks solid is hard work, I need to go to work sometimes for a bit of time out!

Original poster

citronella · 27/08/2008 22:22

Thanks.
Will try harder tomorrow.

OP posts:

Pinkchampagne · 28/08/2008 13:05

Being a lone parent is hard, citronella. There is nobody to back you up, and having the children on your own can be the toughest challenge at times. I often feel like I am really struggling - almost out of my depth at times - and I have lost it on quite a few occasions. I always feel terrible after, and promise myself that I will try harder the following day, but it's tough!

It's still early days for you too. I really struggled at first. My DS1's behaviour became very challenging when I first moved, which was understandable, but I just couldn't cope with it at a time when my own emotions were all over the place.
Don't be too hard on yourself, it is hard doing it alone, and 2 weeks isn't nothing, it's a very long time to have them 24/7! I start to struggle after 3 days!!

Pinkchampagne · 28/08/2008 13:06

How often do they go to their dad?

fransmom · 28/08/2008 16:47

2 weeks is very good going and certainly not nothing

i know that most of us on here will struggle with parenting by ourselves me and dd have just had the first good day for a whole week where evry day we shouted at each other several times a day. you do feel terrible but i am sure that you are a good parent - remember it will pass and you wil have good days and bad days.

Original poster

citronella · 28/08/2008 22:01

Hello Pinkchampagne! I think I am hard on myself because 1. I feel like I have a point to prove for all the times I felt like rubbish in my married life and 2. Just because I am a single parent now doesn't mean we have to live like slobs (had enough of living in DIY SOS land in aforementioned married life. LOl
Today has been better though
DS1 has been to his dad 1 day and he(ex)has visited them for one afternoon since we moved. But as you say it's early days!
fransmom- can you make that a large glass of wine instead?

OP posts:

fransmom · 29/08/2008 11:33

which one.........
red or white?

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