Well, now it appears my parents & my ex husband are taking boys away next weekend!

[Pinkchampagne]

Haven't heard from my parents yet, but ex H told me tonight, that they are talking of going to London for the weekend because they think it will be nice for the boys, which it will...but I wasn't asked, just my ex! He has apparently booked next weekend off work in preperation. It is just slightly odd this whole set up, isn't it?!

Whilst I have great sympathy with you and have followed your situation with amazement over the last few months, I'm not entirely sure what the issue is here. Ex-H is the boys' father, so why does your permission have to be sought in this instance? Or am I being thick?!

It is more because they don't offer the same level of support, or anywhere near, to PC when she has her kids as they do to their exSIL. They contrive situations to bring them together as if a reconcitliation is on the cards despite her having a new partner. She is the villain in her father's eyes and he the victim which kind of goes against the natural order of loyalties.

No he doesn't have to have my permission & I am fine with them all going away, it is just the way my parents plan a weekend away with the boys & ex H before they would suggest me going with them, that's all. I'm not angry - it just kind of sums up their relationship!

Oh I see! Sorry, misunderstood. As you were ...

I wonder who initiated it ? Them and wanting to include exh or him but not wanting to be alone with the boys ?

PC, I always recognise you from your thread titles! I think there should be a law whereby you can divorce your parents for infidelity!

Well from what you said seems like it was a spur of the moment thing discussed one evening. If your parents suggested it then they would want to check with him first that he wanted to do it before asking you I would think. If he was saying he was thinking about it they probably invited themselves and again it's not something he would have spoken to you about first if he was only mulling it over and thinking out loud while being sociable with them. I wouldn't worry too much that they didn't speak to you first.

I completely understand about parents being unsuportive and taking sides. My parents suggested I get back with my fiance, pre ex, when I had my ds. I hadn't told them of his increasing violence towards me and my miserable life for the last 7 years. And how it had taken me that long to escape from him. They wouldn't of cared most likely if I had. He was 'stable' with a good job. That was all that mattered.

And when I got together with my last bf my dad actually said to me 'now don't screw this one up, he's rich after all'. Was I supposed to put up with the mental abuse and controlling behaviour, and his appauling behaviour to my ds? They still say they feel sorry for him and his circumstances with no real idea of what hell I went through for three years. I can see how they think that though given they know nothing about what really went on.

Take no notice of your parents. If they want to wear blinkers then let them. My parents know nothing about me and have a very false idea of the person they think i am. I stopped talking to them about anything important back before I was a teen because they would only use it to hurt me more. They are still around and my ds sees them, but I keep them at arms length for my own sanity.

I don't tend to discuss much with my dad anymore, GB. I barely see him tbh, which is a shame, but I can't get upset by any of this if I don't have much communication with him.
I am not in the slightest upset by the weekend plans - it made me laugh more than anything because it is typical that they would all go away together. Apparently mum suggested Haven at first, which ex H was horrified at as he is a bit of a holiday snob! Wish mum would have booked it!!

My dad was more worried about me throwing away a big house etc too, GB. I tried to explain what we had been through too, but because there wasn't physical abuse or an affair, they can't get their heads around it.

Hi! Sorry had to dash off the other day (and today) but yes thanks Pinkchampagne things are much better (not completely sorted out)but I am soooooo much happier.
Is it a bit of a generation thing where marriages had to stick no matter how unhappy and especially if it was a 'good' marriage i.e big house, nice car, good pension piling up in the bank?... As if you were 'lucky' to land a husband like that?
Have to run now but will check in later

I knew this would be you. Why don't they just adopt your exh and be done with it already.

I justnew that thsi would be PinkChampagne's thread. Her parents are just something else.

Glad to hear that you are coping so well. You can only laugh about it!

Really pleased you are much happier, citronella. It is tough at times being on your own, but so much better than being in a bad relationship.

Yes, they should adopt him & be done with it! I think in their heads they have pretty much adopted him already!