do you ever feel like you've been robbed of a huge part of your life, i do.

[piratecat]

It's late and I feel sad. I count my blessings i really do, i always try to think of tose worse off than me, and to put perspective into my life. It is a good way to cope.

Yet I feel like my husband leaving me has robbed me of my 'life', as I knew it, as i hoped for. That journey we started out on, the friendship, the love, the marriage, and then we had a child and then --gone. Like it was for nothing.

cue people saying--but you have your dd.

I KNOW, but I don't have my husband. He didn't die, no, he didn't and I know I haven't had to go through that. Yet I grieve for soemthing that's gone, that he CHOSE to do to me, despite saying he would never treat me badly like i had been in thepast. This man .KNEW me.

How could i have not known him.

i am feeling very sad, its 3 yrs, and funnily enough it's 13 since we met tomorrow (or this weekend).

i still love him, what a mess.

I've been thinking about this, and it's not so much that I've been robbed of my dreams, you know.

I think I've actually been robbed of my belief system.

It's like being unplugged from the Matrix. Suddenly, I can see the world doesn't work the way I thought it did. There is no happy ever after, like the stories tell you.

It's just like finding out about the big man in red. Although you still enjoy Christmasses after you find out that Santa isn't (you know) .... Christmas is never the same once you know. Something magical is lost forever

I've been robbed of my fairytale ending

This thread has really touched a chord with me. I am eight months down the line - my now ex-husband told me just before Christmas that he no longer wanted to be married to me and left a few weeks later. We have a five year old and a two year old (then four and just two). It was such a shock and the last months have been so awful. And just like ConstanceWearing and like many of you in this thread, I just feel robbed of my life - or robbed of what I thought it would be. The road I thought that me and my happy family were going down, turned out to be a dead end, and suddenly I was on a whole different track - and lost at that (to stick with the travel theme).

And like you, Pirate Cat, I know I'm lucky in the grand scheme of things - I've managed to keep my house, my ex is still involved, I have family all around me, but that doesn't stop me feeling lonely, isolated and downright miserable.

suppose it will get better and ready to give it a long time to do that, but I dread the thought that this is it - me and my lovely children for ever. It's not what I planned!

totally understand about being robbed of your belief system.

the comfort and security that i thought i had found. that feeling of being able to breathe again, somehow. that i was loved.

nuthatch, i am so sorry for what you are going thru and i identify with all you said, as was said in my wanting to write this thread.

i am 3 yrs, can't beleive it's been so long. the longer it goes on, the harder and easier it is in many ways.

I think I've cracked while we're all feeling so especially miserable at the moment (rather than normally miserable) - it's the end of a long, wet summer. I've limped through it.I had planned it down to a T, including 3 weeks camping in St David's, but of course, rain well and truly stopped play. So we've been home. To be fair, the kids have had a fine time, time with their dad, time with me, loads of friends round etc, but for me (and other people in my position, I expect), it's just been long and hard. We've watched families go away for their annual holiday, we've dipped in an out of other families' lives when we've been invited and just generally tried our best. But it's so bloody hard to keep a happy and courageous face on things when everyone else seems to be so content.

i was thinking about just what you said the other day PC - now that I'm through the initial high trauma of things, I should feel better - but instead just left with a massive aching gap - I suspect that the longer it gets the harder it may get too. Especially because people will start to expect you are getting over it, but it's not that simple is it.