Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

My ex is such an arse of a father at times.

49 replies

Pinkchampagne · 12/08/2008 21:27

My DS1 is nearly 9, but has difficulties, so isn't like other boys his age. He has been assessed, & we are unclear of the exact problem, but he ticks a lot of boxes for dyspraxia.

My mum brought both boys a wallet back from her holiday & put £10 in it. DS1 being DS1 & having terrible problems organising anything, has gone & lost the wallet. It will be somewhere in the house as he had it early yesterday evening, but he can't find it today.

His dad bought him two pc games yesterday on the condition he paid him back with his £10, so on hearing he had lost it, demanded he gave him the games so that he could return them to the shop, and has told him that he has until Thursday to find it, or he is taking a load of his other bits to the dump. What a bullying tosser. I am so angry!

OP posts:

Aimsmum · 12/08/2008 22:53

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Pinkchampagne · 12/08/2008 23:09

Have checked the sofa, PO. Didn't find wallet, but found all kinds of other bits. Will check under the boys bunk beds tomorrow.

He received the forms re the divorce from my solicitor last week, so not sure if this has wound him up more than usual.

The boys normally look forward to seeing him, and have taken a while to adjust to the situation, so don't want to stop contact just yet unless I really have to.

OP posts:

solidgoldbrass · 12/08/2008 23:44

PC: Yes, it will be the divorce forms that have got him going. This man is a nasty piece of shit who thinks that neither you or the boys are actually human beings, but his property (I have read many of your other threads and know that you come from a family which sees women as men's property so I do appreciate how hard this is and has been for you). So you really do need to insist that your XH understands that he is not the boss of you and that if he gets his £10 that's the end of the matter. THe best tone to aim for is amused disdain - 'Got a stick up your arse again, have you? DOn't go on so much, you might hurt yourself' basically just not taking his bullying very seriously - though perhaps this is very inadvisable if there is the a /history of violence.

Dropdeadfred · 12/08/2008 23:49

Please phone your parents and tell tem what your bullying arsehole of an ex has done to your son.....

Can you buy another wallet and put £10 in?

Dropdeadfred · 12/08/2008 23:50

in fact seeing as it was your mum who bought the bloody wallet what the fuck has it got to do with your ex where he gets the money from...tel your mum to underine that fact to him too

what a prick

lou33 · 13/08/2008 00:33

pc i hope you tell your exh to fuck right off, and when he gets there fuck off some more

dont allow him to make your ds do that

poor kid

what a cock your ex is

lou33 · 13/08/2008 00:35

ddf, pc's parents are totally onside with her exh and not her

i am sure pc wont mind me saying this, they are one fucked up family, and favour her exh , and he can do no wrong

PurpleOne · 13/08/2008 02:52

WTF? Her parents side with her ex?

I would disown them PC, I really would.

If that's not taking sides and sniping at you at every opportunity...then I din't know what is?
Divorce is for a reason, and not for them to go all 'happy happy' on YOU and dc's.

Jeeees that's crap.

But your ex is still a totally shitty arsewipe 100%. That's nasty to do that to a kid.

PurpleOne · 13/08/2008 02:55

I did mean 'happy happy on HIM and dc's'
Sorry pc, got a bit caried away with anger there....
How do you feel as a daughter?

Maybe it's time you got over to the 'stately homes' thread. In relationships?

Original poster

Pinkchampagne · 13/08/2008 08:56

Yes, my parents side with my ex - they love him & treat him like part of the family. They were very anti the whole separation & even now I can't make them understand why I ended the marriage. They treat ex H like nothing has changed & he is always round my parents house. Just recently he was bought a new laptop by them & taken out to lunch. My dad refuses to meet or even discuss my new lovely boyfriend, and we have been together a year. I am seen very much as the baddie!

We are going out today - we are not wasting our day searching for this bloody wallet!

OP posts:

Original poster

Pinkchampagne · 13/08/2008 09:14

Turns out he was forced to watch the Halloween Simpsons too. He made out he wanted to watch it, then ran off scared & daddy made him come down & watch it, even though the was crying because it frightened him. My DS can have quite OTT fears, again more so than the average child of his age. That is just plain cruelty. I am going to be finding out what went on here when I next speak to ex H.

OP posts:

Original poster

Pinkchampagne · 13/08/2008 09:52

He's found the wallet! He had put it in one of the kitchen drawers to keep it safe from his younger brother, and then totally forgot where he had put it. He has just pulled the drawer open & shouted "I've found my wallet!" Hopefully this will keep arsewipe off his back!

OP posts:

solidgoldbrass · 13/08/2008 10:57

Great. But you should say to the `X is you can: 'You know, this has been a good remindeer of why I am divorcing you. And if you carry on trying to bully our sons Your contact with them will be restricted.' Then refuse to discuss it with him any further - and if your family try to but in,. use the odl assertiveness training trick of 'THis is not up for discussion' repeated a couple of times and if that doesn't work, puttting the phone down or walking away.

oiwhatsoccurring · 13/08/2008 11:05

PC your poor child. Its so unfair your parents side with the wanker. God anyone could lose a wallet with a tenner in it. He's only 9!

Dropdeadfred · 13/08/2008 11:19

PC - I am aware of your parents' obsession with your ex - that is why I wanted you to tell them what had happened!

Do they love him more than their GCs?

Original poster

Pinkchampagne · 13/08/2008 15:10

I have told mum, and for once she didn't jump straight to ex H's defense & actually seemed to think he had gone OTT with his punishment.

Ex H is now going to give DS his games back, so he obviously hadn't got round to returning them. DS wanted to phone his dad as soon as he found the wallet, bless him.

OP posts:

Dropdeadfred · 13/08/2008 15:43

people being mean to children just makes me so mad....I do hope you mention to him that it was this type of behaviour that made you dump him in the first place.and i would certainly restrict access if he is going to torment your poor ds like that!

stealthsquiggle · 13/08/2008 21:34

Your poor poor DS - especially the Simpsons thing - what was that about FGS.

I am so glad it is found and even gladder that DS1 found it by himself so your idiot XH can't make a big deal out of you helping DS1.

Hopefully your mother agreeing with you is the first step in her seeing the light [overoptimistic]

Janos · 13/08/2008 23:46

I have seen a few of your threads PinkChampagne and haven't posted before but my g0d what an absolute shit your XH is!

I have a controlling, bullying XP. It's so hard standing up to them isn't it because you 'learn' certain coping strategies to placate them. Took me a long time.

Good for you on standing up for your DS. I just want to give him a hug reading all this stuff (and rip your X a new one) so goodness knows how you must feel.

Glad he found the wallet, for his sake obv NOT your XH's.

ThatBigGermanPrison · 13/08/2008 23:59

Tell him to stop punishing his children for his ex wife's divorcing him.

Sounds like he likes to be seen as the nice guy - remind him that nobody will perceive this behavior as nice.

TwoIfBySea · 14/08/2008 00:37

Pink, sounds like someone has major control issues.

Hugs to your ds. And hugs from my dts who have a tosser dad too, although not that bad (yet, give him time.)

Hugs to you for having to see him go through this. I know what a control-freak ex is like, I know how hard it is.

Could you maybe tell him that if he ever pulls a stunt like that again he'll get supervised visits? Or something that would take the pain out of the situation for your ds?

Original poster

Pinkchampagne · 14/08/2008 23:10

He does have major control issues, and they were one of the major reasons our marriage ended. He had appeared a lot better recently, and the boys look forward to seeing him, but Tuesday evening I saw the nasty side of him reappear. I hated him for the way he was treating DS.

Not sure mum is seeing the light just yet, but I was pleased she didn't jump straight to his defense on this one.

OP posts:

Lovesdogsandcats · 17/08/2008 10:54

Oh my god all of them9ex and parents) sound like shits.
If it was me, i would seriously fuck them all off.
Do your dc actually WANT to see him. If not, let him go to court.
When you arrive, make sure you have a long list of all the things he has ever done.

tribpot · 17/08/2008 11:17

Oh PC, your poor ds1 I'm so angry for you.

On the upside, at least any guilt you might feel that the boys would be better off if you and ex were still together can be well and truly binned off now.

Your mum not instantly taking ex's side in this is actually massive progress, too.

Onwards and upwards.

Flip

1 2