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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Would you risk the csa?

19 replies

ninah · 08/08/2008 21:33

Hope someone can advise me on this. My ex pays towards his two ds on a voluntary basis. I'm pretty sure he does it through his company. Anyway, the money comes in and so far I've survived on it. However csa guidelines suggest it should be much, much more and I'm worried that he has me on his payroll, as I suspect - even though I've declared the amount myself as maintenance etc. I'm tempted to go down the csa route as I'm so fed up of struggling on dwindling savings but then I've heard so many scary stories about them failing to collect and generally messing up. Plus, this would really antagonise him.
Should I rock this leaky boat?

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ShyBaby · 08/08/2008 21:43

No!

Dont even bother with the csa. They are useless and you'll most likely get nothing.

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ninah · 08/08/2008 21:44

That's what I suspected. Thanks.

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CuckooClockWorkOrange · 08/08/2008 21:47

I thought it had been disolved, the csa. Is there something in its place?

Just ask for a bit more, OR< ask him to pay for specific things??

BUT, you should be advising ME as my x who earns 70k a year gives his children nothing. (but visits them, so he thinks he's great)

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ninah · 08/08/2008 21:51

Still csa on website, I thought it was being replaced too, for something more effective hah blooming hah.
I really really hate to ask him, but yeah he's a high earner too, and he could do a bit more. So will swallow my pride.
He's only started visiting this year. I often go too as they're still quite young, but I'm tailing off. Last time he took them on his own he gave them lobster for lunch. I mean ffs. They came back blooming starving.

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ShyBaby · 08/08/2008 21:53

Its still the csa, still useless. I wouldn't risk it. If you were getting no maintenance ninah then I would say yes go for it, you have nothing to lose.

But you could end up much worse off given the fact he's already happy to contribute.

Dont go there!

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ninah · 08/08/2008 21:57

You totally confirm my thoughts shybaby. I get teed off sometimes about his multiple skiing trips etc, but at something's deffo better than nothing.
And at least we can grin and bear each other in front of the children.

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ShyBaby · 08/08/2008 22:02

I dont know how much you get and wont ask. But I got nothing for the first 3 years and £7.50 a week afterwards....when he can be bothered to pay it that is. He's not on a bad wage either.

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ninah · 08/08/2008 22:05

how on earth did you cope?!
And you must be livid, how do you manage to keep a lid on it in front of dc?
oooh I am feeling really for you

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misi · 08/08/2008 22:23

the CSA will become C-Mec pretty soon and it is envisaged they will be even worse.
if you can aviod the CSA, do so they are cr*p.
but if you know how much your ex earns, you can use the calculator on the csa site to work out how much he should be paying. the formula will change soon too, instead of 15% of net pay (after taxes, pensions and allowed expenses) it will become 12% of gross (ie before any money is taken off for anything).
be aware though that if you make a claim, it can take 10 months or so before the claim is followed through and is only taken from the day he is first contacted, not when you apply. so if he is contacted and it then takes many months to sort out, he might stop payments until they are worked out for him by the CSA / C-Mec and leave you even worse off for a while. if he is saying you are an employee of his and is ''paying''you this way, this is a type of fraud as it can be tax deductable for him if he sets up your ''employment'' in a certain way. is the company his own? is it a private limited company, PLC or sole trader? if LTD or PLC there will be public accounts that you can access, might be worth looking into for some leverage on him?????

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BrownSuga · 09/08/2008 02:37

if it's going to be 12% of gross, will it be a tax deductible then?

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Alexa808 · 09/08/2008 07:02

I think it's a very stupid piece of advice to 'blackmail' your ex, no matter what set up he uses to pay you. Even if it was shady, at least you receive money. I wouldn't bite off the hand that 'feeds' me if I were you. If he gets fined or imprisoned you're money will dry up completely. You'd be playing with fire and potentially crush any relationship your dc have with their father.

I wouldn't ask him for more £££ but to pay specific amount into the dc's account for school food, nursery, playgroups, sports activities, bus fares, etc. Or ask him for vouchers for food, etc, let you order Waitrose or Tesco, etc. on his credit card. If he sees it goes directly to the kids he'd be more interested in upping the money. If he's got a heart that is.

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misi · 09/08/2008 11:21

who mentioned blackmail?

pointing out that he should be paying more according to the CSA guidelines is not blackmail.
querying or finding out about her ''employment'' status is not blackmail, but you are forgeting one thing here alexa808, if dad is committing fraud if he ever gets caught doing it, mum won't be let off either as she is in receipt of proceeds and declaring it as maintainance.
there are many ways of skinning a cat, being aware of all the facts first puts you in a position of knowledge if and when you want to take things further, it also lessons the risk of you falling flat on your face. If it is found that there is no ''employment'' then all well and good, it will save making an idiot of yourself at a later date if things turn nasty and you blurt out you are paid by underhand means when in fact you are not. by leverage, I meant that when the next pay increase comes around, she could put in for an above inflation payrise or ask for more employee benefits like free childcare, food coupons, staff discounts etc etc etc.

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Tinkerbel6 · 09/08/2008 13:20

Its better ninah to get some maintenance even if its not the full amount rather than none at all, are you working ? can you not boost your income through your own means ? some on here cant even get a measly moldy fiver out of their ex's so might not get the response that you want

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muggglewump · 09/08/2008 13:25

I threatened my ex with the CSA and evetually went to them and got nothing.
He was paying me £50 a month at the time but because I'd not gone to the CSA and was on benefits I was losing £80 a month so I had nothing to lose. All I asked him for was at least the £80 I was losing.
If you are getting some money I'd leave it, the CSA are useless. In fact I got a letter from them about a year ago saying they were still tracing my ex, they found him once and said he claimed not to live there so he didn't have to pay, then when he went back to Australia I let them know and they ignored me!
I'm about to try going through the Australian CSA. I haven't heard from him in years and his family stopped bothering sending gifts two years ago so I still have nothing to lose and it's worth a try

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Tinkerbel6 · 09/08/2008 13:28

My friend went through the Australian CSA when she migrated a few years ago and said that they are really good and she got maintenance from her ex in the UK really quickly.

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muggglewump · 09/08/2008 13:34

Heres hoping it works for me then.

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ninah · 09/08/2008 14:06

I have decided to leave it. Not working at the moment, will start when dd at nursery next year. Have confirmed to IR (phone and writing) that I am not working and that the sum coming in from ex is maintenance.
Agree there are a lot of people in worse circumstances.

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Alexa808 · 09/08/2008 16:07

Misi: "for some leverage on him"
I think we both know that you meant exactly what you wrote and despite me putting blackmail in "" you got very defensive. Me thinks thou dost protest too much.

I disagree from a legal point of view ninah will be found not guilty as she is unaware of how she is being paid and has acted in good faith. No company in the world lists their payrolls on public file [PMSL]

Ninah, you shouldn't let him off the hook so easily. He's your dc's father and should shoulder your responsibility. Just ask for pre-paid things like vouchers, nursery fees, etc. He cannot say more than no, and at least you tried. Good luck!

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misi · 09/08/2008 17:56

alexa,
the original post said ''and I'm worried that he has me on his payroll, as I suspect ''
this forum can be read by others without signing in, therefore is semi public and therefore not knowing is no defense in this case.

tell me alexa, why do you think I protest too much?

I didn't say the company lists would reveal payroll either, I said look at them to reveal public company accounts. if he is using this as a tax dodge then the way the employment will be registered is as an adviser or some other form of tax deductable expense, I wrote ''if he is saying you are an employee of his and is ''paying''you this way, this is a type of fraud as it can be tax deductable for him if he sets up your ''employment'' in a certain way''

an ordinary employee will not be tax deductable but a consultant or similar will be and those will be listed otherwise he cannot claim tax back.

I only say that to have the best info so as to plan how you will go about this, get as much info from as many sources as possible