Control freak

[nuroo]

Help! New to this but felt you'd all been really good on advice for others so thought what the hell...........

Divorced from my Ex for a few years now, contact was put in place through solicitors, despite one change in this (agreed by us!) he wants another due to his change in work times. DD does not want to go more (he want's to double the current contact). We both sought the help of womens aid as he was emotionally/mentally and verbally very abusive and I still fear him and what he's capable of. He feels he should just tell me what the new contact will be, no discussion and will start the torrent of verbal stuff saying I'm using DD as a weapon, he can't see what she wants and doesn't even ask. She's 8 soon, any advice? He's also taking her away for 2 weeks despite the agreement being 2 seperate weeks. How do I start to stand up to someone like this??

Go straight back to your solicitor - he can't change things like this when there's a court order in place.

Nuroo, you have to be strong, he cant have it all on his own terms....

Like Mrsporty says you will have to go back to your solicitor.

Thanks for the advice, did think I'd give her a ring while DD is away, feeling so sad about her going, the longest we have been apart in 3 years is 2 days, not sure how I'm going to get through the 2 weeks, got lots of friends who are trying to keep happy but deep down I'm always going to be missing her, know she needs time away but also know what he's like and not sure that she will be his priority.

Going back to the solicitor thing she'll just tell me he's an a**e and to tell him to get lost. Think she just thinks I overreact or let him walk all over me, which of course I have done in the past but after years of abuse I'm pretty sane now

Just very difficult to be strong when you're being told you are pathetic and using the child you love more than anything as a weapon.