So the bastard has put in a claim for child benefit ....ARGGGGGH

[BobDowne]

I now officially hate him. I expect a letter to arrive soon from the tax credits office too. My child benefit claim is going to be suspended while they investigate who should get the money. What a complete bullying tosser. How are the children going to benefit during the school holiday if no-one is getting the money?! I'm so angry, i'll be really struggling now, may have to move house, find somewhere cheaper to rent - but can't even do that as have no deposit money!

What an arsehole. He is lining his own pocket at his son's expense. If your son has uprooted to cheaper accomm, does he think that's just your problem.

He mgiht be lying about how often your ds styas at his place. Unless you officially co-parent 50/50 then I don't think he has a chance of getting the cb.

BobDowne - I feel your pain mediation did something similar to me! They said that ex-h should have control over the CB - by both our names on the account. I said this meant I'd never know if there was money in there for school shoes, clothes etc but they thought it was fair. They also supported h in demands to find out all my income/outgoings which is a current battle.

Mediation screwed me over IMO.

Mediation is only there to help you reach a compromise, you do not have to do what is suggested and it is not legally binding in any way.

If you think the mediator is giving bad advice tell them so and tell them why! Unless they are in your situation they can not see all the ramifications. So what might seem like a good idea for a compromise isn't always when you explain the full details of what it will mean.

CB is paid to mothers in couples who are together because the mothers (and therefore the children) were not always receiving the money from the father. However some parents will always choose to spend the CB on booze, fags and drug, whether they be mothers or fathers so there's never any fool proof solution to ensuring the money goes to teh children.

If you are separated there's no need to have a joint account for anything. And certainly not for anything that your ex (or you) can use over each other as some kind of power trip.