Have been split from my x dp for just over 2 yrs as he had an affair and choose to leave us.
When we split he wanted to have one week on and one week on as his bi polar girlfriend has that with her son.
DS obviously missed him but sees him every other weekend ie Friday and Saturday night and i have to pick him up and drop him off each time (Sometimes he picks him up from club when he can or school on the friday). I offered when we split an evening too as well as every other weekend as i have tried to promote the relationship and he ds needs his dad.
Now he has found out by questioning my son that i am now in a relationship with a woman.
DS has accepted this without any questions and seems alot happier than i did when i was dating blokes. He doesnt think there is anything wrong with it.
X called last night and said that he was very uneasy and is upset that he doesnt have any male influence from my side - He sees my dad - grandad and other male teachers/playworkers at after school. He now wants to change the arrangement because of this.
X now wants to have ds for Thursday night, taking him to school, then picking him up on Friday, FRiday night, saturday night and maybe sunday night to start...... He was very clear that this was to start. He said that if he wasnt happy then he would stop it but once you start it is very hard to stop. He also wants ds to make the choice not us.
I dont want him to have this as we have been settled for 2 yrs so why now should we distrubt him as he wants to be the male influence. He drinks alot, smokes alot and i have been told by my son that he has left him alone when his dad went to the shops/macdonalds. He also frequently wants him dropped off to the pub too on the friday night.
What can i do? Can i just say no? I dont want to stop contact. I have said that I will think about it. I also rely on the maintenance that he pays - i am on a low income with a high mortgage. I would also lose my tax credits and child benefit too.
What can i do ? Thought please, am really worried.