Well, finally took my head out of the sand and got some financial advice, which was, sell your car and flat before you're made bankrupt and lose everything . In a way, it will be a relief to get rid of some of the crippling debt I'm in (from before I had dd and was working full-time in a well-paid job) and the palpitations-at-3am financial worry, and yes, it is all my own fault for spending money like water at the time, but I wasn't to know I'd get made redundant, get unexpectedly (but deliriously happily) pregnant at the rather advanced age of 40, and then end up a single parent trying to eke out a living working from home so I don't have to put dd into childcare. We can live without a car, and rent, and I'll get a p/t job locally if I can. None of it actually matters as long as dd is well cared for, loved and happy, but I'd love to hear about other MNers who have experienced this kind if seismic lifestyle change and survived. I'm not asking for sympathy, btw, I know there's a lot on here worse off than me. Oh, and twunt of an xp, who pays minimum maintenance for dd, swans of on his jolly hols tomorrow [seethe at the injustice of it all emocion].