I know lots of people (father's) who have represented themselves in court due to lack of finances.
I suggest you try and get a MK to go along with you for moral support if nothing else. However you are in breach of the order so the court will not look favourably on you. You can not just take things into your own hands. Your ex may well ask the court to attach a penal notice and the courts are looking at ways of ensuring the parents stick to orders (if not with prison then comunity service etc) so you may well find yourself being made an example of. You have to do these things the right way or you could end up with even more problems.
There are proper routes to take (such as going to the court and asking for the order to be suspended) if you fear for your child's safety, physical or emotional. Not sure if you can do that at this stage, but you may still be able to do so retrospectively as it were.
Go to CAB and get all your questions answered, and get your half an hour's free advice from a sol. Do you have a CAFCASS officer involved in your case? Have you spoken to them about your concerns and the fact social services are being involved too and explained why you have breached the order? Have you got suggestions to alternative forms of contact (letters/email/contact centre) etc. Is your child old enough for the court to take their wishes into account?
At court the judge should explain to you what is going on but is likely to tell you to get representation. Make sure you read the small print of any order before you agree to it as things may get 'accidentally' added or missed if you don't have a sol checking them and the other side may try and take advantage. And write lots of notes on what is said (or get your MK to do it, that is what they are there for, to catch all the things you miss).
Get all your evidence in order, but be prepared for a very hard time. COurt is no fun even with a sol there to help you out. Oh and warn the court you will be bringing a MK with you if you are as some judges get funny about them.
CAB first thing in the morning and see if you can get the current order suspended at court tomorrow too. Will cost you around £80 and the clerk should help you with the paperwork.