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Tis me again. Need words of wisdom

5 replies

wirral · 02/07/2008 00:42

HI. I'm not sure if any of you will remember but I posted recently about attendinng daughter's events with my exh. I found all your advice really helpful, im particular Anna's who pointed out that if I were truly happy in my life then I shouldn't really mind attending with my ex. Well that comment hit home and I managed sports day and open evening at school without any problems. I even managed to be friendly to him and lend him my camera etc. Well done me!!

Tonight we attended an event where daughter got presented with a medal by the mayor. He borrowed a camera this time!

As we were leaving we bumped into 'friends' that neither of us had seen for ages. The Dad amongst other things asked my ex if we were still in the same house. Ex answered the we are now divorced and he lives somewhere else.

Why has this upset me? He just seemed so matter of fact and kind of proud of the fact that we are divorced. ( daughter also a bit upset tonight as she heard him tell)

I know he was in an awkward postion etc and I am sorry Anna but I am happy. Why has this upset me?

OP posts:
PurpleOne · 02/07/2008 01:16

because maybe they were mutual marriage friends???

I couldn't bear to see any kind of friends associated with him. They were his friends anyway.

I would also override that fact and revel in the joy that my dd got a medal off the mayor! How fantastic!

How long have you been divorced? Maybe it's still quite raw and recent?

madamez · 02/07/2008 01:20

Perhaps because deep down you really would prefer him to burst into tears of anguish every time the divorce is mentioned? Because most people would feel at least a little flicker of that however well they have moved on. So don't worry about it, remember how well you are doing and what a fab DD you have - a medal eh?

wirral · 02/07/2008 07:18

Yes, you're right, tears of anguish and begging to come back!! Not that I want him back, just want him to want to come back!

Been divorced coming up to 2 years now. Small staps. I just need to learn to take small steps.

I am very proud of daughter. She is fab and he does miss out on so much of her childhood.

I think I just feel such a failure and hate people knowing I'm divorced.

OP posts:
fransmom · 03/07/2008 18:06

you are not a failure sweetheart, i don't knwo the history at all but could i just say that sometimes it takes a lot of guts to carry on with things like you obv have so well done you

i also took inspiration from you, i hate being at the same events as arrogant conniving controlling xp but dd wanted him there so i bit my tongue and relaxed in fron t of her. thank you xx

fawkeoff · 04/07/2008 00:37

Do not for one second feel a failure because you are divorced.......

Be bloody proud that you are bringing up a beautiful young lady who will reach all of her potential because she has a constant support in her life........YOU.

It is sad because life hasn't turned out the way you thought it would, and it does hurt no matter how much time passes, but it has happened, it makes us the people we are, if there was no shit in our lives we would not be able to appreciate the good x x

((((((((hugs))))))))))

i think you're fab and fuck him x

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