Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

4 months tomorrow since he left

11 replies

Leslaki · 01/07/2008 22:31

On my own with 2 gorgeous dc's and (x) h left me on mothers day all my family 400 miles away but v good friends here. I know I am happier without him - been a very long 4 months!! so why am I sitting here drinking wine and feeling lonley, fat, ugly and that I really kinds want to meet someone? He left me for a work mate who also tried to be my friend - "single white female" sums it up. She has written to me (2 A4 pages telling me I'm a bad mum - she has no kids only a marriage she broke up to be with my ex!!!), texted and phoned wantng me to be her friend and meet up!! Anyway, why do I feel like this? I'm not missing HIM - he has told so many hurtful lies I know I'm better off without hime, but why do I want a guy to want/like me????????? Or do I? feeling lonley and a tad confused really and so sorry for rambling! Wanted to talk to someone!

OP posts:
Remotew · 01/07/2008 22:35

Bumping for you. Do you get chance to have a night out?

Ecmo · 01/07/2008 22:36

I think we all like to feel wanted and special and you are missing that at the moment, but its early days and maybe when things have settled down a bit you will meet someone else. probably when you least expect it. Am not much good at advice but HTH to make you feel a bit better

gillybean2 · 01/07/2008 23:02

Talk away. Always people here to listen.

I ate a whole box of thornton chocs the last couple of days! Well I did offer my ds some, but he kept having one bite and saying he didn't like them so I could have that one and could he try a different one...

Why do people give me chocolate, they know I'll only eat it! Would really like a glass of wine though. Only had two glasses this year!

Gilly

ElenorRigby · 02/07/2008 11:36

Your ex's new squeeze destroys her own marriage and yours...then she sends a letter lecturing you!?! Then she wants to be friends!!! Dear God you would have to hold me back!!!
You have every right to feel absolutely furious!

Leslaki you are right in the middle of the storm atm, it will take a long time to get over such a betrayal. Be kind to yourself, things will get better with time

Original poster
Leslaki · 02/07/2008 18:18

Thanks guys - feeling better today. I know i am better off without him! Eleanor rigby - I virtually had to be held back - my natural instincts were to march round there and give her hell but everyone was right - maintaining a dignified silence and ingnoring her is def annoying her. Think she also hatyes it when i refer to her in txtx to xh as his 'mistress' - such a good condescending word!!!

I'm hoping to get out on Fri night with another mate who's going thru the same. Xh as meant to be having the kids Sat nite but has now decided he has plans and can't have them. So.... my good mates have said to me to bring the kids too - it's a band in the park type night! So at least I'll be out, but will have kids too!! Thanks for all your comments - made me feel better! There is light at the end of the tunnel!!

OP posts:
savoycabbage · 02/07/2008 18:33

Being a mother IS a lonely job, that's why we are all on here I suppose. You aren't missing him so it's probably just adult interaction you are craving.

She sounds like a total looper doesn't she!

mistressmiggins · 02/07/2008 20:17

my exH left (kicked out) for OW and 2.5 yrs down the line, she is STILL rude & abusive on the phone to me
maybe her letter to you was to try to justify her actions to herself
I would just burn it & forget it.

your self esteem has taken a kicking as (if you are like I was) you feel you must be a bad person for him to leave you & your child.

you are not. Be kind to yourself. You cannot possibly meet someone new feeling like you do about yourself. Concentrate on rebuilding your self esteem & looking after your DCS.
The new man will follow eventually WHEN you are ready.

it's only been 4 months. That is no time at all and you probably (and with reason) feel sorry for yourself.

I am 2.5 yrs further on than you and my life is so much better than it was with exH. I have a new partner (18 mths) and he is the love of my life. He is everything I could want in a partner & dad. I look at my exH's life and cannot possibly believe he is better off BUT he will never admit this.

just be kind to yourself & ignore your ex's GF. Tell ur ex you dont appreciate such letters from her.

mistressmiggins · 02/07/2008 20:19

p.s
if your ex has cheated on you, I bet his GF is thinking the same could happen to her and so is probably trying to get you on side so that it a) makes her look better and b) might make you persuade your ex not to leave her in future as unsettling for your DCS

just ignore her

littlewoman · 06/07/2008 22:32

My xh brought his OW down our street to pick up the DC's one time, and I had 3 different neighbours knock on my door to tell me they'd seen her, what she looked like, etc. I was mortified. So I told him if he EVER brought her down my street again, I would make my presence felt at his local pub. (I wouldn't have, but he didn't want to call my bluff as I was pretty unstable then).

If I were you, I would txt XH and tell HIM to tell HER never to contact me again, unless she wanted me to turn up at her place of work, shouting things I know about her. She has absolutely no right to disturb your peace of mind anymore than she has done already. Her work on your relationship has been done. No more.

Four months isn't very long, Leslaski. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself time to grieve. Wishing you strength and peace of mind.

taken4granted · 07/07/2008 19:45

Im 4 months down the line also it gets easier - although Im wondering if i will ver meet anyone else and to be honest w ould I ever trust them again ( 1 files marrieage and 1 ltr father of dd both of which bogged off with other woman whom theyd been having an affair with ) thing is I never get chance to meet anyone being a ft mum no firends/family to do babysitting cant afford it anyway but things will get better - off to mediatio tomorrow am and dreading it but I will get through it - heck the last 4 months havent been easy so mediatio will be OK - think positive is all I can say and be proud of the fact that you havent fell apart as for the slapper ( because thats exactly what she is) just think he will do it to her sometime as he didnt find it difficult to do the dirty on you and kids it will be much much easier to do it to her - and just smile at the prospect of that!

ambercat · 07/07/2008 19:59

coming up to 3 months for me since h left, i,m still crying everyday and my heart is broken. He is planning a holiday touring s. e. asia with the slag in the new year, he is away at the moment and won't have seen his kids for months but feels a holiday for her is more important.

Wish i could feel like you leslaki and know that i'm better off without him but i still love him. Made harder by the fact he tried to sleep with me before he went away last week (i refused). god i am a mess.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page