It’s the complete loss of freedom

[overandoveragain26]

Hello

I know some will want to give advice / suggestions and I don’t want to say I’m not open to it, more that I’ve already thought of it.

I love my children but I’ve lost my freedom. Of course you do anyway … but I want to go to a new city. I want to explore and wander and not be constrained by time. I can’t do that and won’t be able to until my children are safely able to be left alone and they are young so that won’t be for probably twelve to fifteen years.

I know it’s not important but I’d love to safely just leave them with their other parent. And it does make me sad.

That is sad. It’s really so so hard when you don’t get a break xx

I feel exactly the same. Being a lone parent is very different from having an active Co parent. A single parent i know has constant holiday child free, and it does make me jealous, people will say I bet she’s devastated to not be with her kids every day but no she isn’t!! Neither would I be.

Can’t you leave the kids with someone else for a while? Or take a day off work while they’re in school?

My boys are now 13&15 so the end is in sight.. I felt like this 10 years ago. At the time my Husband (now ex) was as travelling the world with his job whilst I was raising our two young boys. I’d sidelined my own career to raise our children - unbeknownst to me he was really living his best life. I totally get it, life is slipping by and we are left raising the kids. It feels so unfair! But hold onto those dreams, start saving if you’re able - your time will come. I’m planning all sorts of trips in my head 😆 I’m hopeful both will go off to uni.. then I’m gone!

I was a lone parent from when my daughter was about one. But sometimes I really miss those days. She's in her 40s now with her own children. I did get 'me time' from other mums but generally always rushed back to be with her.

Don't you have a mum network where you can look after each others children from time to time?

I can very much relate.

My dc are disabled so theres no end in sight for me. I've been a single parent for 7 years, the dc are 21, 18 & 12.

Yea, it's rough alright. And completely unfair. There's only so much living you can do in your head or online. Living in your head is better than living online, but neither come close to Just Fucking Going Out. Without the kids. Take care.

For me it comes in peaks and troughs. Or mountains and the depths of hell may be a better phrase. I climb the mountain while dragging my child and all the bags, then I stand exhausted at the top feeling good and relieved. The next moment, the ground falls away and I have landed in the depths of Hell's deepest chasm.

Mine is a little older and for days out it has got easier since she will now go out for lunch, a film which isn't a U and a museum. It does get better as in the time at the top of the mountain gets a tiny bit longer each time.

It is NOT however, a bitch over dinner with friends or a partner to cuddle with. I just hope I get my time to do this before I look like Keith Richards' granny.

Hang in there OP.