Supporting an only child awaiting university offers and feeling lonely

[NoIdeaButTrying]

Does anyone else have a single child that has applied to University and awaiting results…and for whatever reason doesn’t have a large friendship group?

We have moved around a little and as he wasn’t the most outgoing young person or most confident, although people seem to like him he hasn’t established a close friendship group and is experiencing loneliness. Not asking for me to do anything but sharing that’s where he’s at right now. I’m a bundle of emotional swirl with wanting to find a way to help!

Does he have any interests? He can do a bit of research on at the uni's he has applied for. If no interests then look at and talk about all the different options at the different uni's. Most have clubs for everything from sport to politics to charity stuff that he could start getting excited about.

Part time job can open the door to friendship along with making a bit of cash. It can really build confidence too.

Thank you, yes he’s very active in that way and has been doing research and has a lot of interests but until he gets to Uni are mostly online forums 😊

Yep has been looking since college finished, just not much around unfortunately, but appreciate the suggestion 😊

Do you mean he is awaiting A level results or awaiting uni offers (ie did he just finish year 13 or year 12?). It's not totally clear, sorry.

I am going to take it that he just finished A levels and is waiting to see which uni he gets into – that's really positive as it's a totally new start. From my experience (two DC went to uni) a really good idea at uni is to have something you are interested in that you can really get involved in, as that will hopefully lead to a social life.

Don't rely on making friends in your flat or even on your course tho for sure that's a good way too.

DD plays an instrument and joined a band; DS plays a sport and got massively involved in that. For both, their hobby has been their source of social activities and more.

What does your DS enjoy? There will be a club for it for sure, Doesn't have to be sport, it could be reading, or gaming, or theatre (onstage or backstage) or student politics, or volunteering. So many opportunities. Suggest he does some research so he knows what's possible.

ETA x posted with your last reply @NoIdeaButTrying which makes it clear he is about to go to uni, sorry.

Thank you and yes awaiting results - that in itself is quite stressful due to the high grade requirements!

it’s really the summer I was sharing about as appreciate Uni will offer opportunities 😊

Has he tried connecting with others on TheStudentRooms website? I’m not sure of the exact address but Google will find it! He could join groups for awaiting results and for his firm and insurance choice universities so he’s either all set to make friends and meet people or can meet people before results? DD used it and had a few contacts to meet up with on her first day 😀

That’s a great suggestion thank you!

Guessing maybe I need a little support too for how to keep myself balanced leading up to and on results day 😄 x

#TheParentRooms?

Don't forget to make plans for yourself for when the empty nest starts! With one DC it's kind of sudden..(they come back and you get used to the new normal so don't panic too much)

Ah ok I see.

It's nice to have a bit of a network for the holidays as well tbh. If he can’t find a job, has he looked at volunteering? I know it’s the holidays but summer sports clubs for kids may be interested. Or libraries to help with the summer reading scheme. Just a couple of ideas but there will be lots more. And it will give him something to do and perhaps a chance to meet other YP who are helping out.

For example I’m involved in athletics and there are often roles at bigger events for kit carriers etc. Or simply helping at a charity shop or homeless shelter? I’m assuming he is 18 which helps.