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Lone parents

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£170

10 replies

Mumwithagreenhouse · 01/07/2026 19:30

Hi I’m a lone parent to DD11. Her Dad walked out when she was 1 and hasn’t seen her since! Zero contact, no idea where he is.
After several years of battling with CMS and getting sporadic, crappy pitiful payments of £20/30 here & there (when he wasn’t changing jobs!) via attachments of earnings orders, them randomly recalculating it and generally driving me round the twist, I closed the case with CMS for my own mental wellbeing. Therefore, for about 5/6 years I’ve received absolutely nothing!

Until recently when I decided amongst other reasons, that enough time had passed for him to hopefully have grown up a bit and be willing to take responsibility….?
Long story short, according to CMS, he’s willingly given his details and have calculated £169 per month, via Direct Pay.

I guess what I’m asking is, does this sound like a reasonable amount? I’ve never ever received proper maintenance (besides the adhoc £20/30 random payments I mentioned above) so I haven’t a clue if I should be happy with this, ask them to dig deeper (is that a thing?), or just close the case and decide that yet again, it’s not worth the hassle?

Don’t get me wrong, I need the money! DD is going to high school this year… I just don’t know what to think about the amount?
I know it’s calculated to be proportionate to what his salary is, but I’ve no idea what he’s currently doing for a living. I also can’t help thinking that he’s going to give it a couple months and start job hopping again!

Although I was struggling a bit financially, it was so much easier not having to deal with the CMS!

I’m being ridiculous aren’t I!?

OP posts:
Kaffiene · 01/07/2026 19:38

I find it easier to get CMS payments into a separate account that I use to save for holidays and other nice things. If something turns up in there, great. If it doesn’t affect my day to day expenses as I can’t reply on it. Occasionally I will log in and see what I should have been paid and report any missed payments but I try not to give it too much thought.

Mumwithagreenhouse · 01/07/2026 19:48

Kaffiene · 01/07/2026 19:38

I find it easier to get CMS payments into a separate account that I use to save for holidays and other nice things. If something turns up in there, great. If it doesn’t affect my day to day expenses as I can’t reply on it. Occasionally I will log in and see what I should have been paid and report any missed payments but I try not to give it too much thought.

Genius! Especially as I don’t want him having my main bank details. Thanks!

OP posts:
HowardTJMoon · 01/07/2026 20:12

£170 a month would suggest he's either only working part time or he's got other children to pay for.

I always treated what little child maintenance I got as bonus money. I never included it in my monthly budget until I knew it was in my bank, and I never made any future plans in the expectation I'd get any more. It sucks but I found it the easiest way.

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 01/07/2026 20:15

If you put it in a separate account and ‘forgot’ about it, it would be 14k when she’s 18 assuming he pays. Definitely worth the hassle

Mumwithagreenhouse · 01/07/2026 20:19

HowardTJMoon · 01/07/2026 20:12

£170 a month would suggest he's either only working part time or he's got other children to pay for.

I always treated what little child maintenance I got as bonus money. I never included it in my monthly budget until I knew it was in my bank, and I never made any future plans in the expectation I'd get any more. It sucks but I found it the easiest way.

He’s probably on a low income. I don’t think he has other children to pay for as the CMS usually tell you if the money he’s paying is being divided between you and another mother.

OP posts:
Mumwithagreenhouse · 01/07/2026 20:35

@HowardTJMoon He’s on £18k! No other children

£170
£170
OP posts:
HowardTJMoon · 01/07/2026 21:02

Minimum wage for a full time job is about £25K.

Mumwithagreenhouse · 02/07/2026 09:45

HowardTJMoon · 01/07/2026 21:02

Minimum wage for a full time job is about £25K.

It doesn’t surprise me that he’s not full time, he turned out to be a bit of a Walter Mitty

OP posts:
JoyousWriter · 08/07/2026 14:19

I've never received more than £7 a week in 20 years so it sounds good to me!

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/07/2026 14:29

Sounds low but as above I get £7 a week so £1 a day as ex on uc

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