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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

words of advice needed please

4 replies

bignutbrownhare · 23/06/2008 10:46

Woke up this morning with my beautiful 1 year old dd in bed with me, but just really missed having xp there too. We split four months ago and me and dd have been in our own place now for two months. Most of the time I love it just being me and her but some days, like today, I feel lonely and scared about the future and want to ask xp if he misses me, if he could ever see us getting back together (all the things that reek of desperation and make it highly unlikely in fact!) I don't, he's round all the time and always calls and texts, and I always act as though I'm fine, coping and have no interest in a relationship. But in the back of my mind I would like us to be together again, just not in the same way we were before (ie I don't want to live with him and his ds again). Anyway, he's coming round again at lunchtime and I need some words of advice to stop me feeling weak. Usually I can reason myself out of feeling like this, but today that feeling is just hanging around and I really miss him.

OP posts:
Tinkerbel6 · 23/06/2008 10:49

Is it just the living together that you cant cope with or is it other things ? maybe have a heart to heart with him and he might be willing to change, seems like he hasn't given up on the relationship just yet

Nickinha · 23/06/2008 10:55

Sorry to hear of your situation bignutbrownhare, but I was exactly where you are now about a year ago. At first me and dd moved out and saw xp every weekend, then the weekends became less frequent, more like sundays only. 6 months ago I decided dd and I would be better off living closer to family and packed up and moved. I have not seen him since and now I cant every imagine living with him and his other dd's ever again. It takes a while but you get into your own routine and sooner than later realise that there is no space for him in it. The lonliness also goes away when you get out there and visit friends and family. Good luck...

bignutbrownhare · 23/06/2008 11:10

The thing is, he's meant to see dd two afternoons a week, but he's always round a lot more often and I can't deny him seeing dd, or her him, so it makes it harder to move on. I do get out and see friends and family but social life is limited with a 1 year old! Tinkerbel, I would be too scared of rejection and pity if I brought it up.

OP posts:
littlewoman · 23/06/2008 11:56

Just carry on as you are, and if it's meant to be, it will be. But make sure it's not just loneliness. I got back with my xh1 under similar circs, only to have to split up again because, although I wanted someone, it wasn't him all along. That was horrible for both of us. Be sure!! Sorry you're feeling down.

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