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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

a photo of my ex's baby has 'fallen into my lap'...

15 replies

juicychops · 22/06/2008 13:44

the baby is 8 months old now.

my ds hasn't seen his dad for over 2 years now so he will probably never meet his half brother.

there was a pic of the baby in the paper for some competition thing when he was first born which i cut out and kept in a memory box for my ds when he's older.

i have also taken a copy of this photo to put away for when ds is older.

is this the right thing to do? r shall i forget this other baby even exists?

your opinions please

OP posts:

hayley2u · 22/06/2008 13:49

its quite nice of you to do , it shows yor not being cruel, will he never meet his baby brother seems quite sad,

TheProvincialLady · 22/06/2008 13:52

That is a nice idea.

meemar · 22/06/2008 13:58

I think it's a lovely thoughtful thing to do. You may never need them, but one day your ds might be so grateful that you did it.

Original poster

juicychops · 22/06/2008 14:01

oh thats good. i thought i might come across like im being obsessive about my ex's othe kid.

it is very sad for my ds especially as (for now at least) his dad still sees his other child but not ds, but believe me, he is better off without him

i thought it would just be nice for my ds when hes older that he has something to show he has a brother so that when he is old enouh he can decide if he wants to meet him or not

OP posts:

BandofMothers · 22/06/2008 14:04

You have a good attitude and put your ds first, good for you

barmymamma · 22/06/2008 14:10

wow.... i think your amazing!!! if i were in the same sitution id hope i could do the same thing.. your not obsessing over the other child, your ensuring, that despite having a "distant" father, your ds is well rounded and adjusted to the sitution. it would be awful if he met the other child one day without knowing he existed!!! that would bring up all sorts of probs, like why his dad chose other kid over him ect, this way you get to talkit through when you feel he is ready!!

hayley2u · 22/06/2008 14:11

thats good , does he not want to see his son? that is very sad if so but sad as every child needs a dad.. what yo did was lovely, kind, mature and brave. i really dont know how i would react well done

gillybean2 · 22/06/2008 14:15

I was seperated at a year old from my older half brother. He went off with his dad and I was adopted.

It isn't either of our fault that our parents seperated and we were kept apart.

I have tried to search for him but had no luck as yet. All I have managed to find is his birth certificate. I would love to have had a photo or some other memory of him.
I actually gave my ds my half brother's middle name when he was born. One day I hope to meet him and for my ds to meet his uncle.

If you are doing it for the right reasons I think this is a good thing. Your child will find it in his memory box one day. You're not obsessing over the new baby are you? Just checking!

Gilly

woodward · 22/06/2008 14:18

i think ure being very mature about it. It must hurt..its nice to know that in the future your son will know he has a half sibling even if hes never met him.

Original poster

juicychops · 22/06/2008 14:23

it is very strange seeing a photo of his other baby, but no, not obsessing over him! i think its just strange knowing ds is related to this other little boy who is nothing to do with me or ds. its weird.

also they only live 10 mins up the road so if i stay living in this area they may end up going to the same school in the future or something. thats the first time i have ever thought about that posibility!!

i dont think i could sit back and let poor ds going to the same school as a brother he has never met with the dad who abandoned him standing at the gates waiting for his other son.

oh god, ive started all sorts in my head now!!

OP posts:

KerryMum · 22/06/2008 14:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

woodward · 22/06/2008 14:29

I would try not to think too far ahead....
what a waste of space this man must be to not bother with his son when he lives ten mins away....its his loss and he'll probably end up regreting it in the future

Original poster

juicychops · 22/06/2008 14:35

he has a big horrible tattoo across his chest of ds's name which he got before he stopped seeing ds. i hope it kills him every time he looks at it or whenever someone asks him who it is. he will regret it in the future i have no doubt

OP posts:

woodward · 22/06/2008 14:39

why have another child when he doesnt bother with the one he already had...the mind boggles...
Im sure your doing a fab job on your own...your well rid of him.

littlewoman · 22/06/2008 23:27

That's a bittersweet story, Gillybean.

Juicy, it's a good thing to do. We all need to know who we are and where we came from. He may never decide to do anything with the information, but you've given him the choice to search for his brother in the future, and that is the most important thing.

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