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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

can you get done for not telling an ex partner you are moving??

15 replies

Flllight · 21/06/2008 22:16

Just making sure, see other thread I started tonight in chat - am I legally obliged to tell him where we're going? Can he hold/use this against me if we ever went to court?

I appealed the CSA thing, told the benefits people I wouldn't name him because he was abusive and would use it as an excuse to harass me if he was paying for ds. So they didn't contact him for maintenance. So would I be Ok not to tell him I was moving?

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Flllight · 21/06/2008 22:17

Btw he knows current address, just hasn't been round since ds was born. He was invited but never came.

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OverMyDeadBody · 21/06/2008 22:18

do you have his contact details?

I can't offer any legal advice a I don't know, but I've never informed my ex of any moves I've made as I have no way of contacting him.

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OverMyDeadBody · 21/06/2008 22:18

I think it may just apply to moving abroad, rather than moving house, but I could be wrong.

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Flllight · 21/06/2008 22:20

Yes this is the prob OMDB...I had an email from a mutual acquaintance asking me for ex's contact details...I was afraid in case it was a test, iyswim - like he would have me if I knew them but was witholding info or some such shit.

If only mine would move abroad!!

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greenelizabeth · 21/06/2008 22:21

I don't think so, if you are moving within the UK. I am not sure though.

I think a good way to cover yourself would be to very occassionally e-mail your x, just so that it can never be said that you 'did a runner'. You don't have to tell him your new address, but if you are contactable, then you can never be accused of keeping your DC away from him etc etc...

I have fantasies about emigrating to Australia so that I won't have to read another one of x's vile insults. NOt doing it, but if you are doing a runner, I aint judging you either

I

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chocolatespiders · 21/06/2008 22:22

only if abroad i think...

does he have mobile number to contact you if he wants to?

be careful about electrol roll etc if you dont want him to find you

all the best

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greenelizabeth · 21/06/2008 22:23

If it was a 'test' you passed right? Cos you just passed on the details like a normal person!

Not like the paranoid x who maybe got a friend to set up a test!

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OverMyDeadBody · 21/06/2008 22:27

I'm sure as long as he can still contact you if he chose to through email or mobile then you're not actually withholding any information are you?

And if he hasn't even bothered to visit his DS or get him a birthday present or card do you think he would actually bother to ever drag you through court over not telling him your new address?

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Flllight · 21/06/2008 22:28

Passed on our terms Greeny But failed on his...
shall we start a commune with our own laws?

Choc thankyou, I hadn;'t thought about that. Now he is stopping me voting and all
Shit.

I told him I'd changed my email address after he kept sending me total shit via email, I hadn't but he fell for it (I ignored one of his, he rang, I said Oh sorry didn;t you get the joint change of address one I sent to everyone in my contacts'

Anyway it is a new one now.
No, not giving him mobile as he texts useless shit as well, stuff I never wanted or needed to know, in denial like I care about him still...

But he had my landline and house address, non of that chnanged, he could have made contact easily but just didn't.

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Flllight · 21/06/2008 22:30

I think he could still go through someone legal and get them to write to me if he wanted. I haven't an injunction (yet!)

He is a freak and yes I do believe he would find this exciting, and use it against me. He only fights for things he things are being denied him. he isn;t interested in the kid at all, obviously...but how many other crap fathers just take their exes to court to prove a point? loads and loads.

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chocolatespiders · 21/06/2008 22:33

you may just never hear from him again
dd1 10 dad has never got in touch i do sometimes worry about it though that maybe he wants to but cant as he doesnt have our details....

you may be able to opt out of being on the public registar electrol thing

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2rebecca · 21/06/2008 23:07

If you split up before your kid was born does he have parental responsibility ie is he named on the birth certificate? If so I'd get legal advice as he does have rights.

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Flllight · 22/06/2008 05:51

No...he isn't on the cert. I wasn't with him from about 3mo pregnant, and made sure I registered baby before he had a chance to intervene. Then he got the sulks that I had chosen a name myself. This after he had refused to help with anything and pretty much walked out on us!

Anyway I think he could probably get PR if he applied, but he hasn't bothered yet - tbh if he was paying CSA I think he would be much more likely to want some control over us all, as he is truly the tightest b*stard I ever met - that's why I asked them not to contact him. He even asked me when I was pg to lie to them so he could pay me 'privately' instead of through the official channels - this is what he does with his other children's ex, and I have witnessed the constant arguing and bitching about every little purchase (Oh she wants more money because she spent the school uniform allowance on herself, the bitch )so just a way of controlling her really. He went to court over those two, that was years ago when they were 6 & 3, and he got the boy - so the kids were split up. How awful is that. Just to prove a point...and the boy went back to his mum last year.

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gillybean2 · 22/06/2008 08:45

You will still be able to vote. In fact you are legally obliged to complete the form which includes details of everyone in your household who can vote. However you just tick the box saying you do not want your details included in the public record.

Also you need to ensure that you make your new phone number x-directory and check this is done. Some of the phone companies still put you in teh phone book in error or don't include you in teh phone book but will give out your details if you phone directory enquiries. Be sure you get the highest level of x-directory.

If you moved without telling him (and from the sounds of it he's made no effort so why would you think to tell him) then he could apply to court to locate you.

Court is not cheap nor will he get what he wants just because he is a father. He would be a fool to go down the legal route just for the sake of it. It is expensive, time consuming and with no certain outcome. How old is your child? If young he could argue that you have been frustrating things. However the longer he leaves it the harder it is to show that he actually made any effort.

Gilly

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Flllight · 22/06/2008 12:48

Thanks Gilly
That is really useful info, I didn't think to ask for the ex directory bit. It's true that I haven't contacted him to say I'm going, but after a year of no contact from him (and he was the one who was meant to turn up last) I think that is fairly reasonable.
I will ring the phone company now and ask them to check.
Baby is just over a year old.

Glad I can still vote.

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