Will advice for lone parent

[CookieCookies]

This is a bit sensitive so trigger warning …..

I know we can say who we want our children to go to in a will but can we also say who we dont want our children to go to? I’m asking because I had a family member die very young recently leaving behind two small children and now I keep having nightmares and worrying what will happen to my children if something happens to me. I have an abusive family member who I do not want them to go to but would almost certainly try to gain residency of them. Can I do a will stating I don’t want them to go to this family member? (They will not go to their father) i dont have anyone for them to go to so im not asking if I can list someone for them to go with just if I can state who I absolutely dont want to have them

I think you can put any wishes in a will. (Not a solicitor).

My one says my kids are to go to my mum or sister, not their dad who they don't know.

Yes, mine says not to go to bil.

@CookieCookies you need proper legal advice from a STEP solicitor. https://www.step.org/directory/members

My understanding is that there is no guarantee who will end up being your children’s guardian because it will be what is best for them.

What you can do is specify who you do and do not want to look after them. I would also compile a file of evidence of why someone is unsuitable.

I would also think carefully about finances. The person/people who will manage your estate to benefit your children. This doesn’t have to be the same person/people as their guardian. You need to think how and when you want DC to have access to their inheritance. There are day to day expenses, one off as children e.g. school trip, bike etc. funding university, house deposits etc.

Given you have lost a family member with young children your heightened anxiety is perfectly normal. You will be going through the grief cycle for your loss and really thinking through how you can best help your children is a pragmatic thing you can do.

Remember you can change a will so what is right now may not be in 5 or 10 years time. Having a will and regularly reviewing it, is important. As is having LPAs in place.

Edited for grammar.