How much “stuff” do you do with your kids?

[Squishymama]

I have one DD (10) who I have 50/50 custody with ExHB. I don’t have a lot of friends, even less friends with kids and me and her dad aren’t that amicable so we don’t really speak unless absolutely necessary. So I don’t have a lot of external references.

So, it’s the Easter holidays, I’ve booked a couple of days off work. And I feel like 80% of the time DD has been in her room watching tv, chatting to her friends, colouring or playing Roblox. I don’t mind exactly, because I’ve been able to do some gardening and chill watching tv myself but I can’t help but feel guilty and like I should be doing more “stuff”.

Money’s tight but I have suggested we go and do a couple of things but she doesn’t seem interested. She has asked what we’re doing tomorrow, but then when I’ve said we could go for a walk or to the shopping centre she just sort of pulls a face.

Is this normal for her age?!

Thank you, and just wanted to add, when DD was little we used to love to see the baby animals on the farm.

I was probably more excited than DD back then (always been an animal lover) but would undoubtedly be more excited than her now 😂

Enjoy it, I do miss it!

We had a ‘free’ day out today. Just to a country park. It still cost around £10 for parking and ice creams (I know, I could have said no but …)

It adds up

Same. Went with friends (squints at @buttercupdaisyyelloware you my friend) 😂

parking £3 , Ice creams £4 , Easter trail and quite a cool prize at end so today was £10

but dd enjoyed. Was out 10-330 playing /finding letters /adventure playground etc with 5 kids ages 2 to 9

and the adults had a chat

and glorious sunshine

perfect day

It’s a good point, last year I bought an annual pass for the safari park, it was about £200 for both of us and we definitely had our money’s worth.

Still found myself making a picnic lunch because by the time I’d factored in petrol, donuts, face painting etc. it wasn’t very cheap.

As you say I could’ve said no but it felt very stingy when in theory we got in for free.

I think someone nailed it when the said you have lost confidence due to 50/50 sounds like you need to reconnect a bit.

Lean into her likes - ok she likes makeup - have a competition who can do the most 80s makeup ( allow her time to watch safe YouTube videos- then you both do hideous 80s makeup for a laugh

Then dare each other to go for a walk in your makeup ( somewhere no school friends will see) just get a laugh between you two and maybe you can start to do things together

Well my kids would wonder why they need to go to the shopping centre! Or a walk. Not very enticing. I would plan a couple more fun outings like a visit to an exhibit - today my kids are going to the interactive King Tut exhibit (though it dues cost money). Last week they went skating, my son went to a football match and we all went bowling and ice cream after.

We are out most days as I have a high energy 8 year old. A mix of free things (many, MANY skate parks), Warhammer world twice this holiday as they do lots of free things like painting figures (loads of girls there) zoo, seaside, lots of walks and bike rides and then splashing out for a couple of days in London from tomorrow. I am a single parent and other than one walk, we have done everything else just the two of us and alway have.

I could have written this! Booked a week off last week kids basically did what they wanted with mates felt like I was just hanging around so that someone was in when they returned! Don’t have much money either did a couple of things but I felt like I wasted a weeks leave!

This is a genuine question, I’m not trying to be cheeky! But the skate parks and bike rides… are you doing them too? I only ask as I’m notoriously uncoordinated. I’ve claimed that I’m sure I’ve forgotten HOW to ride a bike 😂

But it makes me feel better that other single parents are doing stuff just them and their kids. I’m sure loads of people do but I don’t have many friends, and ExHB shacked up with his GF almost instantly so they do much more family stuff.

We swim a lot, local leisure centre not too costly (and free for kids having lessons). Cinema? Depends on where you live again but a smaller franchise is way cheaper than going to vue. We did do the zoo on Tuesday but that’s my big day out for the hols. Library? Go to junior parkrun on Sunday. Go to a games workshop and get a free warhammer mini to paint. Take a bus to Asda, get a cheapo kids lunch then bus home. Ditto IKEA.

Other than that, yes my 10 and 12 year old will still do a big walk/bike ride (although 16 year old won’t! That’s a whole other kettle of fish…) quite happily, take snacks from home.

When dd was that age we would do days out, go to the beach, go to national trust places, go swimming etc.

I would not be happy about her spending time in her room watching telly all holiday.

I have a child that age and it’s difficult to get them motivated at times - but she does have twin siblings who are younger so I’ve found that actually she still enjoys parks and farms etc - her siblings obviously keep her young! But I don’t take no for an answer when it comes to getting out and about - im a lone parent - no input from their dad so money is tight also - so im a whizz at finding free activities - free museums, deals on tickets for places (which since it’s just the 2 of you should be even more manageable) - picnic lunches, local walks to bluebell woods. Social media is creeping in and eldest can usually be motivated to come somewhere if she can bring a phone and take photos to send her friends. I don’t mind a couple of days of TV an staying in her room but only if I’m WFH - if I’m home then we have to get out for a portion of the day

I work FT and we've done something every day so far this holiday. If you have DD 50:50 then that's 6.5 weeks of the holidays so with at least 5.5 weeks of A/L, surely you're off for most of that time?

A lot of things are expensive for older kids but at 10 she should have more interests than make-up and overpriced skincare, she's still a child.

We mainly do free and cheap stuff
tennis/frisbee/picnic in a park
bluebell walk in the woods
Swimming
bike ride
baking
film nights but make an event of it with pizza and snacks
Go to a nice gelato place
get some cheap cinema tickets (Vue)

@Squishymamatje skate parks, absolutely not! 🤣 I sit and drink tea or read a book. It does get very boring at times!
Bike rides depend. I often walk and he cycles but I will sometimes take my bike and we cycle quite far. I can’t keep up with him anymore so I have to really prepare myself when I cycle with him!