Do any lone parents enjoy child-free time?

[Chocolateraspberry]

My ex has never taken our children or had them overnight so I’ve never had a child free night or full day. I keep dreaming and wishing of child free weekends, but so many single mums I speak to say they hate it and hate when their children are away and I’m just like what 🤯 (unless the father is abusive of course but that isn’t the reason why they say they don’t like it so not including abusive situation) I’d love to just do nothing! Have a lie in, order a takeaway without having to spend a fortune! I don’t feel like cooking today because I’m ill so a takeaway would be nice but far too expensive, if the kids weren’t here I could order for just me! Lie on the sofa doing nothing! Do a massive clear out and clean up without kids under my feet! Does anyone actually enjoy their child free time? Do all single mums hate it? Sounds like heaven to me

I've never had it. Since she was born we've been together every day. I don't even know where her father is and his family are in another country.

I don't think I would know what to do with myself, but the thought of it is nice.

I don’t even want to do anything, no exciting plans I’d just love to be able to clean my house without kids here getting in the way, and then treat myself to a lovely takeaway without spending £60 🤣

I love my child free weekends. I know my kids are safe, happy and having a nice time with their Dad and I’ve now got my social life back. I’m reconnecting with old friends which has been lovely, I spend time at home, lie ins, watching crap tv! I often feel bad I’m enjoying myself without the kids but remind myself I’m not only a mum, I’m a person too and should enjoy my “time off.” I know I’m lucky my ex is spending time with the children as I know this isn’t always the case.

I haven’t had a takeaway yet, might do that this weekend!

Oh gosh yes. I get 1 night about every 3 weeks and bloody love it. Takeaway, bath, relax in bed with no kids joining me 😎

Kind of! My ex has our son for two nights a week but these are the days I’m working, I live quite far away from my work so I normally get home at 7ish so I do have a few hours to myself. I have a glass of wine in the bath, watch what I want to watch and potter about. I sometimes do art in my sketchbook so I listen to music and paint. 🎨

I’ve been very tempted lately to take a random sick day from work just to enjoy a whole day and night to myself 🤣

My DS used to go to his dad’s every weekend (when his dad was in a long relationship with a lovely woman and they had pets etc). I liked my me-time as I knew at that time he was happy and safe there.

I would love a night to myself and be amazing to get every other weekend like many separated parents do

def wouldn’t be lonely. Would either see friends - stay in and watch tv - possibly think about dating etc

sounds heaven !!!

ex is an alcoholic - dd used to stay at his when I worked nights - but once I found out he took her to the shop and drank I stopped all overnights and any alone contact

I just don’t trust him and dd doesn’t want to be there alone so we see him together once a week as I feel she should have a relationship with him

those who have trustworthy ex’s be grateful and cherish your alone time

I have recently separated and waiting to see if H is able to have both kids overnight. He’s had a couple of weekend days and it was BLISSFUL.

Last weekend eldest was at a sleepover and so he took youngest. It was the first time I’ve ever been alone overnight in my house and I absolutely bloody loved it.

I do enjoy my child free time but I also miss my DCS terribly when they are not with me. I know they have a loving safe father who they love spending time with. I’m sure I’d feel differently if the situation was not so positive.

I cannot bare it if I have not seen them for a few days, although this is rare

Glad to know it’s not just me then, sometimes I hear mums complaining and I think you are so lucky 😬 wouldnt miss mine either gosh that sounds awful 🤣 I’d wave them off and pack their bags for them!

Yes I enjoy it. Its impprtant feel like a better mum for it. Kids soon grow up too.

Mine go to their dads every other weekend for 2 nights theoretically but often just 1 day. I absolutely bloody love it!!!

He occasionally has them for a full week and I really really miss them by the time they’re back, but I think that the time apart is good for us all.

If the kids don’t have any family who can have them, I highly recommend pgl who are brilliant, and lets you have a couple of night’s break.

What is pgl please?

Are you me? 😄

Me and dd since she was born (and dcat a few years later)

Although I would like an evening to myself here and there - dunno what I'd do - maybe go on a date?! 😱😄

🥰

My two are late teens now. I'm so glad when they are both at college. Can slob around the house 🏠. I love them to bits but it's just nice to have an empty house sometimes. It was the same when they were at school

Op, completely understand

Can you put aside some money and save for a babysitter one overnight a month? Take yourself to a travelodge and just sleep?

Solidarity 🥰

It’s an adventure holiday company where kids go by themselves. Available from aged 8 or 9.

Its not super cheap, but they run in school holidays so if you book it on days when you would otherwise need holiday club it’s not crazy expensive.

I do! My children are older though so not dependent on me anymore. They’re 15 & 17 & they go to their dads every weekend. Saying that, I did enjoy the time alone when they were younger as well. It was well earned respite time.

No unfortunately not ex doesnt pay maintenance so nothing spare or even to save 😩

Can you ban him from seeing the kids until he provides overnights?

Have you got a court order in place?

He doesn’t see them anyway 😢

Nope!

I miss my son, but I do like to have some adult time. It’s often hard to find people to spend time with as my friends are with their kids then.

I dont get overnights but I do get a couple of hours every 2 weeks when my parents will help. I will go to the gym or shopping or anything I fancy without anyone with me and I feel better for it. Sometimes I imagine an overnight but I think id be anxious and id be the one with separation anxiety as im just not used to it!