Dont think I will ever get over it

[MyLittlePoniess]

I know loads of mums would love to be in my situation but it really bugs me that my ex hasn’t seen our children in 3 years, he completely left me to raise them alone I know some people will think im lucky but this wasn’t my choice, it bugs me that I have children with someone that wants nothing to do with them. Probably moved on and has other kids now meanwhile i get a pathetic £29 a month for them. I think sometimes it never stops bothering you? Will I ever get over it?

Can’t comment from experience but I guess it’s a kind of grief - not what you planned, hoped for. Maybe ‘get over it’ is the wrong way to think about it - maybe you’ll learn to live with it and it won’t always be so raw… x

Thank you, weve been split up 10 years so it’s been a long time it’s just the last 3 years he hasn’t had any contact.

You dont get over it, you just live with it and in time it gets easier. Mine was slightly easier than yours as dc was only 18 months when they last saw their 'dad'. Although left me in pregnancy (after fertility treatment, and denied paternity). 22 years later I have a good relationship with dc, who is a wonderful adult, giving back to society and his 'dad' has missed out on that. Dc 'dad' gave up work (or maybe worked cash in hand) so as not to pay maintenance (he'd spent our whole marriage berating his bil for the exact same thing). I look at it as I wouldn't want the 'real' man having contact with dc because thats what has shown through who he really was and therefore dc is better off without a father, rather than an intermittent/emotionally abusive one. Ideally dc would have a physically and emotionally present dad but that wasn't to be.
It wasn't how I set out to parent but it turned out fine. I think accepting that it wasn't what I wanted but it was what I was dealing with was the turning point for me (but that took time).