How do you let people in?

[Catnipforone]

I've been single for 7 years, partly through circumstances and partly through choice. I have one DD who is now in uni, and a DS who is now 14. They both have their own lives to a point and I'm becoming very lonely.

My problem is, how do you let someone in again after so many years predominately alone? I'd love to start dating again, but the thought of having someone in our home, getting comfortable and being here semi-frequently makes me feel really uncomfortable, perhaps a little anxious. Is this normal? Has anyone else had similar experiences and feelings?

Honestly, you don't have to be worried about that now. I think the main thing is to find someone decent, take it slow and things will progress in a natural order. Sometimes these things take years.

I think start with small steps. You're doing leaps and are understandably panicking. What you describe makes me feel sick 😄 🤣 but I went on my first date recently, it wasn't for me -due to my situation i think I juat want to focus on my youngest kids and on paper I look like a nightmare with my ex causing drama! I might keep going on the odd date and if someone decent shows up then great, but in the meantime I will keep booking in theatre tickets for one, spending time with friends and family and enjoying my art and newly developed DIY skills 😄 🤣 so I don't think what you're saying is weird at all! Start small.

Yes I fully understand starting small however, I have a genuine issue with not allowing things to progress because of the things listed above. The thought of welcoming someone in genuinely terrifies me, simply because I'm far too deep in my comfort zone to allow anyone in with any intention. I'm fully aware that it is probably to the point where it is unhealthy and self isolating. I really do need to do something to open myself up a little. I go on the rare date here and there but don't give things chance to progress, mainly because of the fear of above. I've really dug myself into a hole and don't know how to, or am far too uncomfortable with letting anybody in.