The Solo Parent Club

[Flyingwithoutwingsxxxxx]

I've seen so many threads on here, from lonely parents feeling isolated and overwhelmed by single parenting. I thought I'd start this thread as a place to come and vent, share stories and find company, all without having to leave your home! Hopefully people will use it and find comfort in knowing we are all here together. Happy posting!

Hello, I have just found this thread and it is exactly what I was looking for. Solo parent to a 3 year old, I've just moved away from stbxh and I'm so lonely. I'm not missing him in the slightest but I just don't have a village and even more isolated in our new house. I don't have time to meet new people and I've missed the baby groups stage :(

Hello to you both! I’m a soprano to two teen boys. I find the older they get the less I see them.. I literally sit on my own every night. Today is Mother’s Day - for some reason it seems to hit hard that I’m the one putting in a shift regardless 🫤 no one spoils me - not that the ExH ever did anyway! That said I’m thankful for my two amazing lads and the peace of not having to deal with the narcissistic twat anymore.

Sorry to hear today was tough for you. I was struggling this morning, but then it seemed to get better this afternoon. I have a narcissist for an stbxh as well, never does anything for any occasion and but never did either - I do the same for father's day. I think the fact your boys are close to you shows they know where the land lies. Sending 💐 it isn't easy x

Your boys should spoil you! Don’t let them be like their dad!

Hello x
I have DD who is almost 12 and split with her dad when she was 6months old. Been single ever since other than the odd date here and there. I’ve been ok but lately the loneliness is getting to me.
I also worry about DD a lot, I don’t think she really enjoys being at her dads (EOW and 1 night the weekend she’s with me) he has 2 other children and she has been mentioning a lot that one or the other is the ‘favourite’. There’s a big gap, 6 years between her and middle one and 9.5 yrs between her and youngest. All have different mums. He’s still with youngest mum. I think she goes to see the sisters more than him. He pays for activities for them but not her, and she is made to use her birthday/xmas money on things that I feel he should pay for at this point in time. (When she has a Saturday job when older then fine).

I am conflicted sometimes as I miss DD when she’s at her dads but I also really need the break too. She asks me not to mention anything to her dad but I don’t know how much longer I can listen to her tell me he does things that make her feel sad 🙈🙈 if anyone has any experience with a similar scenario please let me know x

Hi guys, lovely to see people using this thread! Nobody commented for a while, so I didn't check but will make a conscious effort to check more often.
Hope everyone has had a good Easter, I've not spoken to another adult in a week, just me and my LO. I'm starting to really feel the isolation now.
The sky is blue here today, so we are going to eat out after dinner. What's it like where you are? I seen Scotland have had snow, nothing like that here in N. Wales thankfully!

Hello @Flyingwithoutwingsxxxxx I’m still here ☺️ Boys went off on holiday yesterday with their dad. He’s really rubbing my nose in his new cash rich life (it won’t last, he’ll flit it all away and not pay the tax man as usual).. booked a villa in Spain for 10 nights - asked me if I wanted to go (erm no thanks)! My oldest son was reluctant to go but I talked him round. So here I am all alone. 😩 Keeping myself busy, decluttering the house a little and catching up on diy that’s been lurking for a while. Tempted to book a little break for myself but can’t decide where to go and not good at spending money on myself. The weather here today is beautiful, bright blue skies, washing is on the line and I’m off to pick up my click and collect shopping shortly! Like you I’ll have no adult conversation unless I get out the house and meet friends for lunch etc. I’m planning to go into the London office later in the week - just for a change of scenery and have some human company. I totally get it, it can be very isolating unless you make the effort to get out and interact with others. Enjoy yourselves this afternoon x

@therockingbird hello there, hope you're doing ok. It's not easy when they try to put on a fake lifestyle that you're expected to believe, is it? My ex is exactly the same. It's like they forgot we once lived with them!

Glad to hear it's sunny where you are, but I also understand you don't always want to have to go out and socialise! Sometimes it's nice to potter at home when it's like this, but having another adult to potter with would sometimes be nice.

Enjoy the rest of this (dare I say it!), sunny bank holiday. Have a lovely day.

Placemarking.
i am about to become a single mother and move out with my 2 year old.

Come back when your able @scoobysnaxx I walks out of my marriage when the boys were 8&10 wasn’t easy but we are much better off now! One tip from me.. journal. I found an online free app called Penzu. When I ready back to 3/4 years ago on this day I’m reminded how far I’ve come. It’s a very humbling way to keep ourselves in check when we feel overwhelmed. Best of luck x.

@scoobysnaxx It's not all doom and gloom. I'm in a much safer, healthier mindset than what I was with my ex. Change can be daunting but it is also sometimes 100% necessary and for the best.

We hold space here for you, as and when you may need it. Even if it's just to get it out. Wishing you well.

Hello I’m still here too x
Struggling with juggling half term, work and feeling like I’m on some sort of emotional rollercoaster (Depo injection is due in a couple of weeks so maybe that, maybe early peri symptoms who knows).

Nice and sunny here too, I’m in the Home Counties,
the sun definitely helps to lift my mood, just need to figure out how to get out of this funk I’m in x

Aww solidarity everyone. Been a single parebt since DS was a baby, he is nearly 17. Am really seeing the fruits of the years of slog. Still a few ups and down but it basically gets easier. We are very close. I managed to get on with ex for my son’s sake (mostly) and my DC actually said the other day how much he appreciated that and how he knew it couldn’t have been easy. I don’t need much contact with his dad now thankfully and I have my own time back.

Coming in with this positive comment to give everyone a bit of hope. It’s not easy but no one is stronger or more resourceful than a single parent 💪🏻

Hi all,
@Elfie23 I'm perimenopausal and it kicks my butt daily. Hormones are difficult to navigate when time for self care is short. Hope your mood continues to lift with each sunny day. That long winter is hopefully behind us now.

@Bufftailed comments such as that make all the hard work, tongue biting and dedication worth it! The proof is so often in the pudding and it sounds as though you've done everything just right. It's tough sometimes but the positive outcome makes it worth it.

I've forced my little one outside for a walk today, fresh air and blue sky is a tonic. I love being off work with them but I do miss routine also.

Hope everyone has a lovely day. Glad to see this thread is being used and what a lovely thread it's become. Thank you.

Solo parent here. For a long time now, to two teen DS.

Financially I'm just about staying afloat! I try to keep essential expenses low. The current global situation has me very worried though. I'm committed to becoming debt free.

Emotionally it can be draining, with some 'high' moments along the way. The day to day can at times be overwhelming. I do try to look for, and maintain, systems and routines to help lessen the stress of it all.

I've dated a couple times only, had a couple 'flings'. Utterly disappointing with hard lessons learned. I just really don't give a crap about dating anymore. I would like a LTR one day, I just can't see how it would work.

DS require more from me because I'm their only parent. I'm exhausted a lot of the time, but have started to rest more. That might be due to age/hormonal drop as well as accepting that I just can't any longer afford to allow burnout to happen.

@Koolaidchic I can relate to much of what you have said, as they're not dissimilar from my own circumstances.

I do remind myself that, whilst I love being a mother, being needed so much by my offspring is only a chapter in my story, and not the final one at that. One day, I'll have so much time on my hands that I won't quite know what to do with it. I'm sure I'll look back then and miss these days.