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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Infuriating child maintenance system

3 replies

CaramelChips · 26/01/2026 12:19

Can I vent here because I have noone to talk to in real life right now. I don't understand how the child maintenance system works for anyone.

Today as an example:

I call them, listen to their long winded explanations of everything (again), and advice that I should use the website if I can... (If I could resolve things on the website I wouldn't need to call).

I jump through all their security hoops (again).

I'm on hold for 45 minutes. The line cuts out. I call back and I go through the same steps again. I wait for another 40 minutes. Most days I don't have the time to do this and have to give up.

I get through to someone who sounds like a really young man. Who from the start of the call, conveys in his tone that he couldn't care less. And definitely does not intend to help me. And wants me to know that.

I do my best to explain the complex, detailed background to my case in s concise way so that he might be able to help me understand what to do next.

He tells me my case has timed out. It's like we are in a game of snakes and ladders, where if I don't manage to get through on the phone within 30 days, I slide back to the start and have to go through every step and hoop from scratch. To even try to get somewhere.

He says I can go online and request xyz. I make him stay on the line and tell me exactly where on their website I can do things (he clearly resents this, his tone becomes even more contemptuous and interspersed with sighs). But without that, if I had ended the call and agreed to do it myself, I wouldn't have known what to do, because it isn't at all obvious, in fact it's impossible to guess, (which is why people call). He tells me I can override certain things, or lie on the forms to get through to submit them, which I would not have done without being told to.

I manage to submit 2 forms. I ask him what happens next and he sighs and talks to me at though I'm really stupid... and I'm still trying to stay calm and not react to it. He reels off 'next steps' fast and not in a clear way. So I have to insist he stops and talks through their process slowly. He still doesn't do it in a helpful way. I only know what he tells me is not linear and is incomplete because I've already been through some of it before. He's basically being as unhelpful as possible.

And finally I understand it will take 2 or 3 months to get back to where I was before. And that is before starting to properly clarify how I might obtain funds, given the paying parent is hiding them.

It feels like a clear case of the process is the punishment. Not for the 1st time, and I know I can't change it. It is just so incredibly frustrating. If I was any less able, or didn't need the money I would just give up.

OP posts:
Concernedmummy2025 · 26/01/2026 13:59

I found that CMS are generally well meaning on the phone but sometimes can’t explain it well if it’s complicated.

If you think there is additional income (via assets, unearned income or diversion of income) you can raise a query on the portal (for each if required) requesting the ‘variation’. Attach the evidence you have/take screenshots of everything you upload. If needed, attach a word doc summarising it all including contact with CMS on the phone (the word doc you convert to pdf to upload) and keep all copies of that.

Unfortunately you need to jump through the hurdles - apply for variation - get the CMS decision - apply for a mandatory reconsideration by due date. All of these things can be done on the portal. Then apply to tribunal within 30 days of the MC which is a court form on gvmt website. If it’s hidden assets they then have more powers to look into it. And the date will be the date you lodge the additional income query on the portal so it may take a long time to get there but it will be backdated.

HoneyOats · 26/01/2026 20:37

I’ve had the opposite, only ever speak to men and can tell they feel disgusted by my ex!

SM33 · 26/01/2026 20:44

It’s an awful system- doesn’t work at all. Sending sympathy.

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