Am i being an idiot to feel this way

[Idiotathome79]

I am a single mum to 6 children i have only been a single mum after my 25 year marriage ended in 2021, after violence and coercion, i have 4 adult children 2 have autism and adhd and 2 children that are under 15 both autism and ADHD, y ex hasn't seen my older since 2022 and my younger ones since 2023.

yesterday he messaged my son who's just become a
mew dad, ( this particular child i have supported financially last year dealt with his depression guided him ans his partner through huge recent struggles ) and congratulated him( he must of seen baby pics ! then asked to meet up,
same time he messaged me and asked if the two young ones wanted lunch next sat, i told him i would ask i did, and after some conversation where i listened to the worry's ie will he be drinking etc they agreed.

now i am left,
1 feeling worried he's going to see them once and nothing for a year.
but 2 i feel angry and sad i have literally dragged these children through 2024/2025 my oldest has had illness cancer ,my other child depression, the son who struggled with everything my younger two have had issues with school etc and i feel like he's just riding in on his white horse, take them to spoons for pizza and win parent of the year award, I haven't slept very well and can't stop crying.
ans 3 why now is it cos of the baby, is it cos of christmas or the fact he got married and wants to tell the kids ( who crazily learnt about this via facebook)
i now feel guilty as on top of all this i feel awful i am not delighted for the children. ( side note my son with baby is refusing as ex wont see the kids without his partner)

You have every right to your feelings
It's sounds like you've had a really rough ride ...so firstly WELL DONE for staying sane !!
It's not a situation I have been in so I don't have any wonderful advice I'm afraid
Just breathe and be there for the kids
Don't get pulled in too much by your ex

Let him play Disney dad. Your kids know exactly who's there for them

@Springtimehere I keep repeating to myself they have the right to see their dad and i would never stop them, i just think i feels so like wth ... my children who he hasn't asked to see are now angry and hurt because why not us, ita an awful situation..

@Devilsmommy i hope so i really do.
@Lulu1919 thank you xx

I think it’s perfectly normal to feel however you’re feeling but other than that I wouldn’t comment on it and let it show.

I have a relationship with my father now and realistically he’s a great grandfather, maybe even better than my mom is a grandmother, but I remember exactly who he is and he doesn’t hold a candle to my mother.
However my mother and brother have made us feel really shitty about talking to him and that has only pushed my child to be closer with her grandfather, since he doesn’t make any comments.

@reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson i wont let it become between me or my kids but thank you for pointing out its a possibility as i am sure in the moment we all do and say silly things, to be honest i'll be surprised if it becomes a regular thing, unless of course hes being motivated by his new wife.