Feeling sorry for myself. Someone give me a shake

[bigfishlittlefishtupperwarebox]

Its my birthday tomorrow, I'll be 46. It will be my 8th birthday as a single person and I just want to find someone but its impossible.

EXH had an affair and I kicked him straight out 8 years ago. We have a DD and shes 9, since last year he's stopped seeing her at all so I'm now a lone parent. I feel I use all my babysitting favours for after school so I don't like to ask people to have her at weekends, so I can't go out. And even if I do, my only other single friend is male so people assume I'm with him if there's just the two of us out.

I'm just sick of being on my own every night and I just want someone to want me. I did go on some dates from dating apps at the start but they petered out fairly quickly. I know I'm being totally self absorbed, I should be happy that we're doing ok and obviously there's worse happening in the world. 99% of the time I'm ok, but tonight I'm just sad and lonely and want a hug.

Sorry you are feeling this way, I can relate as I’m a lone parent and also have my kids full time so have been unable to date and have been single for 10 years. People have told me to pay for a sitter but I’m not comfortable with that, is that something you would consider?

I don’t think you need a shake at all. That does sound shit and lonely and unfair.

Hopefully you can still have an enjoyable birthday with your DD.

Don’t give up on the dating apps. You only need 1 good one. I personally would wait till your dd is comfortable with a sitter though, if she isn’t yet.

Sending a hand hand of solidarity. I am in the same boat as you. It’s utterly unfair. There isn’t much I can say to make it feel easier but make sure you spend some money on yourself for your birthday. Flowers, chocolates, the sorts of things you’d like to receive. F*ck the cost. Spoil yourself fully.

Thanks everyone. Yeah its just the unfairness, I did it right (I thought) and waited till I was married etc and here I am...

She doesn't want to be left with sitters. I think the whole thing with him dropping contact has made her clingier to me and she just wants to be with me... time will figure it all out I guess.

I've had a lovely day with DD but still sort of teetering on the edge of tears. Not sure why its got me so bad today but it'll pass. Onwards and upwards eh 😊