Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

My heart breaks more everyday

9 replies

user28288 · 28/10/2025 06:04

I have 2 wonderful ASD sons (5&6) with a 14 months age gap. Their POS father left when the youngest was 6mo and not too long after I met a new partner who raised them as his own pretty much from then on. We moved to his home town, he bought us a lovely house to live in, a dog. We had a lovely, but fairly stressful busy life. Then one day 3 mos ago he left out of blue (after petty argument) no communication apart from a letter to say he was depressed and solicitors correspondence telling us to get out of his house within a month, and leave behind absolutely all the belongings and my car that he had bought. He snuck back in the house shortly after leaving to take the dog with him.

we have been broken into pieces and are trying to rebuild ourselves, amidst the struggles of everyday life. My youngest son is more severely ASD and is incredibly hard work, my oldest son is really struggling with the grieving process. We speak about ‘papa’ most nights, and he recently asked me if I can go and find him another father because he misses his papa and he knows he’s not coming back now. (He does see his real dad EOW but real dad cancels quite often).

it’s such a mess. I just wanted to vent here. Him asking me to find him another father just made my heart bleed for this poor little boy who has been through so much sadness so early on in life. I will obviously be single for many years to come now, so as not to put them at risk again. But wow, I’ve never known a loss like it. It’s like he just died one day, with the dog, and now we have to lose our home and many of our possessions. I’m grieving, the kids are grieving and we feel like we are drowning sometimes.

thanks for reading

OP posts:
Notsoother · 28/10/2025 06:11

You need to remain single and focus on your children and yourself for the foreseeable future op.

You moved at lightening speed with a man you barely knew and this is the upshot

RightThenRightAgain · 28/10/2025 06:12

Gosh, all that sounds hard. Flowers

They have you, the most important one. You will all get over this although it won’t seem like that now. I’d focus on the practical things, things that you can control. Have you got any extended family?

GreenGodiva · 28/10/2025 06:20

I agree that you need to remain single going forward to adore your kids chance to heal. I’m really sorry you are going through this. And my heart breaks for your kids. What I would do in your shoes is try to find as many strong male role models as possible. Maybe a SEN martial arts/exercise/circus class? Or Cobbs/Scouts?

in the short term just try to find one small reason to be happy and thankful each day. It really does help to stay positive if you can find tiny snips of pleasure in the tiny things. And 4-5 tiny things can add up to a medium thing. 3 medium things is definitely a big happy thing. And I promise it will get easier.

EarringsandLipstick · 28/10/2025 10:37

Notsoother · 28/10/2025 06:11

You need to remain single and focus on your children and yourself for the foreseeable future op.

You moved at lightening speed with a man you barely knew and this is the upshot

What an unnecessarily harsh reply. I’m not disputing that there may be validity to it but does OP need to hear this? Now?

EarringsandLipstick · 28/10/2025 10:41

OP, I wonder if you’d get more replies posted on another topic?

I’m so sorry for what you are dealing with.

You need to focus on the practicalities. Unfortunately you are in a vulnerable position with regard to your home.

Where are you staying now? Have you a source of income?

If you can at all, get family support (a place to stay, help with the kids). If not, can you secure accommodation? Have you a job?

Is there anything that’s in the house that is yours?

Jan039 · 28/10/2025 10:57

What a spineless man OP! You thought you could rely on him and it turned out that you couldn't. Don't make that mistake again, concentrate on you and the kids.

fansbackintheloft · 28/10/2025 11:08

Your children have a dad, he might not be perfect but you can’t just replace him any more than he can replace you if he feels you were a poor choice.
Focus on your children and self and let your children focus on the parents they have

user28288 · 12/03/2026 20:06

After the first reply I left this thread as I knew I’d come to the wrong place for support. Just come back now and would like to thank the other posters. We are doing much better now, in private rented and (more or less) thriving as a family of 3❤️

OP posts:
GreenGodiva · 17/03/2026 16:32

user28288 · 12/03/2026 20:06

After the first reply I left this thread as I knew I’d come to the wrong place for support. Just come back now and would like to thank the other posters. We are doing much better now, in private rented and (more or less) thriving as a family of 3❤️

Oh op I just checked on this thread and I’m so glad you are doing better! My ds has just gone through a very rocky break up with two small kids and absolute waster of a man. I know it’s hard when you are in the throes of it but you are already coming through the other side and you should be really proud of yourself.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page