Hi everyone,
I’m looking for some advice or reassurance from anyone who’s been through something similar.
My baby is around 8 months old and breastfed. Her dad and I split before she was born, and things have been very inconsistent ever since. He’s seen her about two dozen times, but contact has been irregular and unstructured — lots of cancellations because he’s been unwell, asleep, or out drinking. There’s been no routine or reliability.
I’ve always supported contact and kept things child-focused, but there have been serious concerns that make unsupervised contact impossible right now. He’s repeatedly crossed physical and sexual boundaries towards me during and around visits — things like unwanted touching, comments, and pressure to engage when I’ve made it clear it’s not appropriate. It’s left me feeling unsafe.
He also tends to switch between silence and then overly casual or friendly messages, or sometimes threats about taking legal action. There’s a real pattern of manipulation and inconsistency, and very little meaningful parenting effort.
Because of that, all contact has remained supervised, either by family members or in public places. I’ve engaged with mediation (still waiting for a date), cooperated with solicitors, and I’ve got my initial Cafcass call coming up. I just want to make sure I’m handling it in the right way and that I’m protecting my little one.
Has anyone been through something similar — where the other parent’s behaviour has included sexual boundary issues or coercive control, but they still push for unsupervised contact?
How did Cafcass or the court view it in your case, and what kind of recommendations were made?
I’m feeling anxious but want to stay calm and factual. Any experiences or advice would be so appreciated.
Thank you 💛