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Abusive ex making demands all of a sudden

7 replies

WizardofCoz · 05/10/2025 22:47

Hello MN community,
Will try & keep this short.
Abusive ex has been an inconsistent addition to my son’s life for the last 10 years. We separated when son was 3 years old, I left with son, it has been a difficult 10 years as a single mum, I have tried to do the best I can & have disabilities.
Son is in Y9, got in with a new group of pals in Y8, less focussed at school now but very good at sport & art. Excelling in fact.
He’s had a couple of negatives in his last report & has had a few detentions in the last year or so for late homework/being late in (buses are late sometimes) but nothing major & he is a good kid (helps our elderly neighbour/loves cooking etc)
Last month, his dad has been told about the detentions & negative stuff & is now demanding to meet with the headteacher/to have access to the school’s weekly updates for my son.
My ex has NEVER GIVEN A SHIT about son’s grades/reports etc before & has never even been to a single parents evening (primary & secondary)
He is definitely only wanting access to all this so he can criticize me/my son & focus on the negative stuff & ‘parent’ from a distance when it suits him.
I don’t think his details are registered on son’s school record - can he access all of this without my consent?
He has PR.

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 05/10/2025 23:37

Yes he can ask the school for records about his son and behaviour as he has PR. Let him crack on. Don’t lose any sleep here. You’re in the safe zone at 13 years old he can’t go to court to force more time with him overnight (although your son may want this)

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 05/10/2025 23:37

Don’t respond to anything he writes to you criticizing you

OSTMusTisNT · 05/10/2025 23:39

Does he have a new GF and trying to impress her with his attentive parenting? 🙄

roseymoira · 05/10/2025 23:46

Who told him?

WizardofCoz · 06/10/2025 06:46

roseymoira · 05/10/2025 23:46

Who told him?

My son mentioned to him

OP posts:
OhamIreally · 04/11/2025 07:48

The thing is now your son is 13 a lot of the hard work is done so now’s the time for him to swoop in and try to take credit. Ask me how I know.

LaurieFairyCake · 04/11/2025 07:54

Just block him on everything, your son can do the contacting as he’s old enough

let your ex contact the school, just never engage with him

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